THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Our Town”
Read on for my recap & review of The Vampire Diaries 3×11, “Our Town,” aired Thursday, January 12th, 2012:
Happy Birthday, Caroline Forbes! Or should I say … Happy Funeral? You may not have gotten everything you wanted, but the audience got an amazing episode of The Vampire Diaries. You’re such a selfless heroine. Plus, to paraphrase Buffy, the important thing is that you began a special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror. Hurrah!
This episode was an important turning point for a number of our characters. Caroline said goodbye to her human life, with the help of her friends. Elena put to rest her past self as well, facing the truth of how much she has changed. Jeremy said goodbye to his loved ones, off to new adventures in Denver. We also learned the true strength of the sire bond, as Tyler was forced to do the worst thing he could possibly do (boo, Klaus!). And finally, Stefan proved how far he was willing to take this whole bad-boy thing, much to Elena’s chagrin. (Answer: way way way way too far.) All in all, it was a very emotionally powerful episode of The Vampire Diaries. Oh, and SPOILER ALERT: Matt was perfect. On to the recap …
“I’m walking on sunshine! Woooo oooo! I’m walking on sunshine! Woooo hooo!” What? What’s that sound I hear? Oh, it’s just Damon taking a shower, filled to the brim with happiness after last night’s kiss. Well, it’s important to enjoy the small joys in life, as I’m sure horrible things are bound to happen soon.
Elena, on the other hand, is all dark and intense punchy girl, working out in Alaric’s room of Requirement. Her inner theme song the morning after The Kiss is a little more Metallica, a little less sunshiny. Gilberts … always so intense. Apparently, Elena didn’t sleep well last night. Neither did Alaric, though he has a more sympathetic excuse: “It must have something to do with dying.” Waaaah waaaaah. Oh, Alaric, you slay me. Elena sees this all as another reason for Jeremy to get out of town. Oooookay. Alaric says that Jeremy was packing when he left the house. Damon’s compulsion worked. Elena then acts cagey about Damon, asking if Alaric has talked to him. When Alaric asks why, Elena hurriedly replies, “No reason.” Sigh.
Meanwhile, Stefan waits for Damon to get ready at Casa Salvatore. The two brothers have plans to meet up with Bonnie at the Witch House. They have coffin-opening-Klaus-destroying work to do. Stefan wonders why Damon is all chipper. Sigh.
Back at the Witch House, Bonnie speaks Witch Latin, but it doesn’t work. She gets annoyed and yells at the coffin: “Why won’t you open?!” Ugh, I hate when that happens. Outside the house, Damon and Stefan approach, and they hear something. Turns out, one of Klaus’s hybrids is snooping around. Damon kills him with a heart snatch. “These hybrids. Really bringing the neighborhood down.” Word. Ugh, hybrids. Aaaaaand title card.
At school, Elena decorates Caroline’s locker for her special day. Awww. Bonnie approaches and apologizes for running late. Bonnie has a “Happy Birthday Caroline” sign to contribute. Both girls are reticent about their recent activities. Tsk tsk. Elena then confesses about Jeremy leaving town soon, to Denver. Bonnie is not an idiot. “Jeremy wouldn’t just leave you to deal with Klaus on your own,” she argues. Elena: “I know. I asked Damon to compel him.” Ugh. Bonnie’s reaction is what it should be. Elena argues that he deserves a better life.
Meanwhile, Damon fruitlessly tries to open the sealed coffin, banging on it with a shovel. Stefan tells him that he’s wasting his time. Damon then does dome Original math to help the audience out: “3 sleeping originals, 4 coffins.” Like the entire fandom, he wonders who is in that 4th coffin. Theories? Damon then yells at the witch spirits for not knowing how to open the coffin. Hee. Then there’s some back-and-forth between the Salvatore brothers, in regard to the best tactics to use against Klaus. Damon urges Stefan to keep the peace, but Stefan doesn’t want to play defense. Stefan assures his brother that Klaus is bluffing because his family means everything to him. Damon is not so sure. I’m a little worried Stefan has a gambling problem.
Back at school, Bonnie approaches Jeremy in the school hallway and is basically awesome. She does everything but actually tell Jeremy that his sister had him compelled. When Jeremy parrots the company line, regarding his exit, Bonnie sneakily says: “That’s what Elena said. That’s exactly what she said.” Extra emphasis on the “exactly.” Hee. Go Bonnie!
Outside in the parking lot, Caroline arrives at school. It should be noted that she’s wearing her hair straight and looks super pretty. Unfortunately, she also looks super sad. Poor Caroline. As she slowly gets out of her car, she spies Tyler waiting for her. Tyler says that he knows she’s upset, but she says it’s so much more. She knows about what happened with Jeremy in the last episode. Uh oh, Tyler. Tyler says that he understands why she can’t be with him. Even though he wants to put Caroline first, he can’t, and he’ll never be able to, and he’s so sorry. Caroline is sorry too. He then takes out a pouch and gives it to her. “Happy Birthday!” Awww. She opens it and it’s a charm bracelet. Poor Caroline is on the verge of tears. You guys, we’re only a few minutes in and Caroline is already sad! I don’t know if I can take this!
At Klaus’s new home, Klaus talks to his sister’s coffin, and then tells one of his hybrid minions to show Rebekah to her room. Aw, well, it’s nice that Klaus is giving Beks her own room. Stefan arrives and there’s some back-and-forth. “I don’t like your new friends!” “Well, I wanted to be your friend, but you wouldn’t let me!” “Friends don’t strip friends of their free will.” You know, the usual. Klaus also reiterates his desire to be reunited with his corpsified siblings. Stefan gives him an ultimatum: send the hybrids away, or risk losing his family. Stefan even threatens to drop Elijah in the Arctic. Um, you’ve gone TOO FAR, Sassy Stefan. Too far. We should drop you in the Arctic. Hmph. Then Stefan kills Klaus’s hybrid minion, to prove that he’s serious, and again orders Klaus to get rid of the hybrids. Wow. Excuse me while I cower in fear from the youngest Salvatore and all his insanity.
We then cut to Caroline arriving home from school. She is wearing an adorable outfit with flawless accessories, but she is still sad. So hard to be a teenage vampire with perfect hair. Then Bonnie, Matt, and Elena jump out to surprise her. Awww. Also, Matt in a party hat. MATT IN A PARTY HAT. I have now seen the best that life has to offer. Thank you, show. Thank you. The Scoobies then hand Care a birthday tiara, as befits her. Awww. So much cuteness. Caroline thanks her friends, but she’s not feeling her birthday this year. They point out that she used to love her birthday. Caroline points out that things have changed: “And now it’s just a reminder that technically I’m dead.” Awww. Also, since she died when she was 17, she says she’s stuck in a filler year. Poor Caroline. Her friends protest. Caroline says it’s fine, but that she needs time to wallow. Elena has another idea. Oh, this is sure to end well, and not in kidnapping and werewolf bites. I’m sure of it.
Meanwhile, Klaus’s hybrid Daniel asks his master where to dispose of the dead hybrid head (courtesy of Stefan). Then Tyler arrives and Klaus asks him to help him. Uh oh. Tyler chafes a little. Seems that he’s starting to rethink his total loyalty. Klaus then tells Tyler that he needs him to bite Caroline. WHAT?!?! Shut up, Klaus. Noooooooo! Klaus is the grossest. Klaus explains, “Stefan pushed me too far, so I’m pushing back.” He says that he’s putting Tyler’s undying loyalty to the test. Tyler stands strong, declaring that he will not hurt Caroline. You go, Tyler! Didn’t think you had it in you! I’m impressed. Klaus (pretends to) accept(s) this. He’ll find another way. That does not sound good.
Cut to Damon and Alaric arriving at a Council meeting. Aw, a date. Alaric, like everyone else, is confused about Stefan. He asks whether Stefan’s humanity is on or off. Damon diagnoses his brother as using a “dimmer switch.” Hee. Damon says that this is a problem, because he can’t predict how far Stefan will go. Alaric: “Suddenly you care who lives or dies?” Damon: “I have a small list.” Hee. Alaric: “Talk about a humanity dimmer switch.” Damon: “Screw you.” Oh, you two. Don’t stop. Alaric then catches eye of the sign: Wickory Bridge Restoration Fundraiser. “Can’t a council meeting ever just be a council meeting?” Ha! Never. Have fun, boys!
Meanwhile, Elena’s plan is put into action, as she brings Caroline and company to the Fell crypt. Yep, they’re going to have Caroline’s birthday in a tomb. Hee. Elena explains: “You don’t need a birthday. You need a funeral. You need to say goodbye to your old life so that you can move on with your new one.” Caroline: “Okay. Here lies Caroline Forbes …” Elena: “Cheerleader, Miss Mystic Falls, 3rd grade hopscotch champion.” Bonnie: “Friend, daughter, overachiever.” Matt: “Mean girl, sometimes, no offense.” Caroline: “Ah, none taken.” Elena: “She was 17, and she had a really good life, so rest in peace so that she can move forward. It’s what you really need. It’s what we all really need. Amen. Or cheers or whatever.” Hee. I love this show. Then Bonnie lights the candles on an adorable birthday cake, featuring a skirt. So cute. Caroline makes a wish. I hope she wished to NOT die from werewolf bite.
Back at the fundraiser, Alaric and Damon look at a model of the bridge restoration. Damon points out that this is the bridge where Elena and Jeremy’s parents died. Alaric then wonders what’s up with Elena, since she’s been acting weirder than usual. Damon is all like, “Um … it’s probably Stefan.” Riiiiight. Sigh. Damon exits: “I’m gonna go get a drink, write a check, and then we’re out.”
This gives Meredith (!!!) an opening to approach: “Alaric Saltzman, miracle patient.” Alaric greets Dr. Fell, who is glad to see that he’s still alive. Me too, Mere, me too. Alaric: “Yeah, well, I guess I have nine lives.” Meredith: “Not a bad thing to have in a town with a vampire problem.” Ooooh. Well, she is a Fell. Alaric is all discombobulated: “I’m sorry … are you on the Founder’s Council?” Meredith: “I’m a Fell. I come from a long line of founders. May they rest in peace.” She looks at the model. “I hate that bridge. My senior prom date dumped me on this bridge.” Alaric: “Oh yeah? Did you throw him over?” Meredith: “No, but I should have. I’ve been holding a grudge ever since.” This will be important later. She then says she was coming over to hit up Alaric’s friend for a donation, meaning Damon. Alaric says she should, as he’s loaded. Way to pimp out Damon’s pocket book, Alaric. Hee. Meredith says he’s in good company: “Some British guy just pledged to match every dollar we raised.” Alaric: “What do you mean British guy?” Uh oh.
Speaking of “some British guy,” Damon sees the offending party sweet-talking Carol Lockwood. Damon: “Carol, and don’t take this the wrong way, but do you realize that you’re kissing the ass of an immortal hybrid who ruined your son’s life?” Hee. Favorite line of the episode, hands down. Klaus claims that he saved Tyler, due to “that nasty full moon business.” Sigh. Carol explains that Klaus has promised to protect Tyler and the town. Damon points out that it’s his hybrids that are endangering the town. Well … this week. Sigh. Klaus tells Damon that all he has to do is to get Stefan to stop decapitating his friends. Klaus: “Oh come on, mate. Give peace a chance.” Hee.
Back at the crypt party, Caroline is busy texting someone. Elena scolds her. Caroline admits that she was texting Tyler. Bonnie: “Oh, give her a break. You can’t control what everyone does all the time.” Oooooh! No she didn’t! It’s Caroline’s birthday, and she’ll text if she wants to. Elena: “Wow.” Matt: “Ouch, Bon.” Bonnie: “I’m sorry. I know that it’s Caroline’s birthday, or funeral or whatever. I just feel that it’s really wrong that you compelled Jeremy to leave town.” Word. Elena: “I’m doing it to protect him, Bonnie. I want to give him a chance at a halfway normal life.” Bonnie: “He should be able to choose how he wants to live it. You’re taking his choices away.” Exactly. Elena: “Bonnie, you can’t tell him” Bonnie: “Why? Are you gonna compel me not to?” Oooooh! Things just got serious. Also, well said, Bonnie. Where does the compulsion stop? At what point does Elena decide that she disagrees with someone else’s decisions, and send Damon after them? This is just not an okay way to operate. Especially after seeing all the pain wrought by Klaus’s compulsion. I mean, Klaus’s compulsion RUINED HER LIFE. Check yourself, Elena. Matt is feeling all the awkward, so he steps in: “You know, you guys are ruining a perfectly good funeral.” Bonnie apologizes. (Obviously, she’s the one who has to, because it’s not like Elena ever would.) She says she needs to sleep it off or something, wishes Care a happy birthday, and leaves. I’ve never been more Team Bonnie than in this episode.
Meanwhile, Sheriff Lockwood and Damon discuss the night’s reveals. Liz: “I’m not gonna let [Klaus] hold this town hostage. But I’m also not gonna let innocent people get caught in a crossfire of a pissing contest between and a vampire.” Woot! You go, Liz! Damon agrees: “Liz, I’m impressed. You’re all strong and sheriffy.” She says that she’s not kidding, and tells him to get Stefan to stand down. Easier said than done.
Back inside the party, Meredith and an unknown man argue. He says that she’s going to ruin her career. She points out that he owes his job to his father. Man: “Do you have any idea what you’re messing with?” Things get heated. Meredith: “Back off, Brian.” Well, now we have a name. Alaric intercedes, asking if everything is alright. Brian says that everything’s fine. Alaric: “It didn’t look fine.” Brian: “You might want to get to know her before you become her white knight. She’s kind of a psycho case.” Aw, poor Torrey DeVitto. Another character described as a psycho. I’m sure that Meredith is a perfectly nice and sane young woman. Alaric: “You’re that guy, aren’t you? The one begging to get his teeth kicked in?” Brian: “Take it from me, man. Life’s too short.” Meredith: “Just go away, Brian.” He leaves. Meredith: “Behold, my senior prom date.” Uh oh. Alaric: “You definitely should have thrown him over the bridge.” Ha! Meredith: “Unfortunately, I have to work with him. He’s on the Council—medical examiner. Guy who signs his name under ‘Cause of Death: animal attack.’” Ha! I love that someone has that job. Perfection. Then Meredith receives a page and says goodbye to Alaric: “Duty calls. Thanks for the hero moment.” Alaric: “Anytime.” Awwww. Here’s a visual representation of all the pretty:
Meanwhile, Stefan walks through the fundraiser and picks up a knife. Citizens of Mystic Falls, take this as yet another example of why you don’t leave your kitchen ware lying around. Then we see one of Klaus’s hybrids go upstairs, where Stefan stabs him. Damon intervenes: “No dead hybrids at the founder’s party!” Hee. Okay, maybe that was my favorite line. I can’t decide. The brothers argue. Blah blah blah. Damon says that to beat the villain, Stefan has to be smart. Stefan: “No, to beat the villain, Damon, you have to be the better villain.” What is this? Batman? You guys, Stefan has gone over the edge. He has started to believe his own press.
Back at the tomb party, Tyler shows up. Awkward. He apologizes: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to crash the party.” Matt: “So don’t.” Ha! Caroline says it’s okay, and then goes outside to with him to talk. Sure, you two just hang out in the woods alone, leaving the other two in a tomb alone. This is sure to end well, because your lives in no way resemble a horror movie. Inside the crypt, Elena asks if Matt is okay. Matt: “Yeah. I want her to be happy, you know. That’s what I want for all of you guys, in the middle of this crazy life you got stuck living.” Awww. Perfect Matt is perfect. Elena: “Is that what you think? That we’re stuck?” Matt: “I’d say it’s attached itself to all of you pretty tight. Yeah.” Elena: “Bonnie’s right, you know. I have no business messing in Jeremy’s head. I just don’t know what else to do. He’s in danger here. I can’t lose anyone else that I love.” So, this is about you, Elena? I liked your previous reasoning better. Sigh.
Outside, Tyler has a speech prepared: “I take it all back—everything that I said this morning. Klaus can’t control me. Not when it comes to you. I won’t let him.” Caroline: “Tyler, it’s okay. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be together. Maybe we just have to accept that and move on.” Tyler: “I’m not moving on from anything. I love you.” And with that, he kisses her. She smiles, and then they smooch some more. Unfortunately, things take a turn for the deadly when Tyler BITES her. They both freak out. Clearly Tyler did not intend to do this, but the sire bond took over. He couldn’t control himself. Which means, KLAUS DID THIS. You guys, I just can’t with Caraus-ing and the Klaroline-ing. I just can’t. Down with Klaus! Ugh. Anyway, Caroline screams for him to get away from her, so he leaves. Thoughts? I’m thinking that this proves that the sire bond is way closer to compulsion than we thought. It’s basically the warm fuzzy version of compulsion. So much for “faith,” or whatever.
Cut to Matt and Elena searching for Caroline. They are really adorable together, and make some silly jokes about a Fell ghost. So cute. Unfortunately, all the noise attracts another vampire: Stefan. And then Stefan straight up kidnaps Elena. Poor Elena. Must be Tuesday.
Cut to Elena and Stefan in Stefan’s little red car. Damon calls, and Stefan lays the groundwork for his power play: “Tell me, what’s Klaus gonna do if he can’t make any more hybrids?” Click. Damon immediately goes to find Klaus, worried for Elena’s life. He fills the Original hybrid in on the sitch, and tells Klaus that he should do what Stefan says. Klaus refuses. Damon points out that his brother is operating on crazy, but Klaus says he’s bluffing. Damon’s not so sure: “I know my brother better than anyone, and right now I don’t have a clue how far he’s willing to take this.” Right? I’m on the edge of my seat! Aren’t completely insane characters so much fun?!
Meanwhile, Matt is perfect, so he rescues Caroline and brings her home. Sheriff Forbes is there, as a testament to the fact that she is occasionally a mom. Go, Liz! Matt tells her that Caroline is hallucinating. Uh oh! Not Caroline!
Back on the road, Elena asks Stefan what he plans to do. Stefan: “Maybe I’ll just turn you into a vampire.” Really, Stefan? Really? Elena yells for him to stop the car, but then Klaus calls. There is some back-and-forth and posturing between the two former friends. How did Sheriff Forbes put it? Oh yes, pissing contest. For sure. Klaus doesn’t believe that Stefan really would hurt Elena, but then he listens in as Stefan forces his blood on his ex-girlfriend. Yep, THAT HAPPENED. Then Stefan races towards the Wickory Bridge, as if he’s going to drive off. Yep, THAT REALLY HAPPENED. Klaus can hear Elena’s protests and cries of fear in the background. Stefan: “Say goodbye to your family, Klaus.” Klaus caves: “Fine, I’ll send them away. You win. Stop the car, Stefan.” And he does. Elena gasps, bloody mouthed, and terrified.
Okay, take a deep breath, gentle readers, because now we have to deal with the ramifications of that INSANITY. Phew. Breathe in … breathe out. Okay, we’re ready. So, Elena gets out of car, just sldfjsklfjsd in anger and terror. Stefan tells her to get back in the car. Elena: “How could you? My parents died going over this bridge! I almost died. You knew that. You’re the one who saved me!” Ouch. Stefan: “Look, he had to believe that I would do it, alright. Your fear sold it.” Elena: “But what if he hadn’t?” Stefan: “He did.” Elena: “Well, what if he hadn’t?!?!?” Stefan SCREAMS: “He did, Elena. He backed down. He has a weakness. If I know his weakness, I can destroy him.” Elena: “And after everything, that’s what mattered? Destroying Klaus?” Um, yeah. Stefan: “Destroying Klaus is all I have left.” Elena: “You had me.” Stefan: “I lost you the minute I left town with him. You just haven’t let yourself admit that yet.” Elena: “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to make me hate you?” Stefan: “I don’t really care what you think about me anymore, Elena.” Liar. If you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t have just screamed your lungs out making excuses to justify your crazy behavior, Mr. Salvatore. We’re onto you. And with that, Stefan gets back into the car and DRIVES AWAY. Elena is left all alone on the bridge, crying, with no phone, and a long walk ahead of her. Elena’s life is THE WORST. Sorry for being so hard on you earlier, Elena. I mean, I was right, but that’s not important right now.
Geez, I feel exhausted … but there are still several more scenes to deal with. Okay, so then, Klaus has the audacity to show up at Caroline’s door. Hmph! Of course, this is actually a good thing, since his blood is the only known cure for a werewolf bite. But still! Matt opens the door. Klaus explains that Tyler came to see him, very upset. He said Caroline had a “terrible accident.” Really, Klaus? Really? Matt stands his ground (Go, Matt!!!): “You made him do this to her! He would have never done something like this.” Klaus, of course, completely ignores this, and says that he’s here to help: “My blood will heal her. Please tell the sheriff to ask me inside.” Sheriff Forbes: “I know how this works. You want something in return.” Smart lady. Klaus: “Just your support.” Sheriff: “Come in.”
Oooooh! The plot thickens. So, what do you guys think? Does this mean that Tyler biting Caroline was all part of Klaus’s plan to get the Sheriff on his side? He knew that he had Carol Lockwood in his pocket, but he needed the Sheriff too? So, Klaus always planned to heal Caroline in the end? That’s what I’m thinking. Or was this originally planned as leverage to help force Stefan’s hand? Then Klaus changed his mind after the Council meeting? Or was this all a power play related to proving Tyler’s loyalty? Back to the plot …
Klaus enters Caroline’s room. Caroline: “Are you going to kill me?” That delivery. Killed me dead. Candice for all the awards. Klaus: “On your birthday? Do you really think that low of me?” Caroline does not miss a beat: “Yes.” Hee. Love love love. Klaus then takes a closer look at her wound. “Oh, that looks bad. My apologies. You’re what’s known as collateral damage. It’s nothing personal.” He strokes the charm bracelet that Tyler got her (that will be important later!), and says, “I love birthdays.” Well, that’s probably because you never got bitten by a werewolf on your birthday, Klaus. Hmph. Caroline: “Yeah, aren’t you like a billion or something?” Hee. She’s just SO PERFECT. Klaus: “You have to adjust your concept of time when you become a vampire, Caroline. Celebrate the fact that you’re no longer bound by trivial human conventions. You’re free.” Caroline: “No, I’m dying.” Awww. My love for Caroline Forbes just knows no bounds. And major kudos to Candice for her performance in this scene. Just wow. Klaus sits down on the bed, and things take a more … intimate turn. Ahem. Klaus continues: “And I could let you … die. If that’s what you really want. If you truly believe that your existence has no meaning. I thought about it myself, once or twice over the centuries, truth be told. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. There’s a whole world out there waiting for you. Great cities and art and music. Genuine beauty. And you can have all of it. You can have a thousand more birthdays. All you have to do is ask.” Wow. Klaus gives good speech. And I’m glad that someone finally addressed these issues, you know. About the world outside, and so on. Caroline’s response? “I don’t want to die.” Awww. Klaus takes this as a yes, so he holds out his forearm: “There you go, sweetheart. Have at it. Happy Birthday, Caroline.” And scene.
When I watched this episode, I was with my sister Francesca, and I remember that we were both kind of uncomfortable during this scene. We were like “What is happening here?!?!” with our eyes. And after it was over, I was like, “Oh no! I don’t want Caroline to feel like she owes Klaus now, since he saved her life!” And Francesca was like, “Uh, since it was his fault she got bit in the first place, I think it’s a wash. If anything, she should be mad, since he put her through that in the first place.” And I was like, “Good point! Phew!” But then when I looked online, everyone was like swooning and all like “Caraus! Klaroline!” … so I think maybe we watched a different episode? I mean, yeah, there was definitely chemistry there, but it felt kind of predatory to me … and very much seduction with an agenda. Of course, either way, it makes for amazing TV. I mean … this show. Crazy entertaining. I don’t know how they do it every week.
Cut to Elena and Damon arriving at the Gilbert house. Anooooother Porch scene. Yawn. Damon asks if she’s gonna be okay. Elena: “I’ll survive. Somehow. I always do.” Way to get your Scarlett on, Elena. Damon says that Stefan won this round for them. Elena: “Well his methods suck!” Damon proudly replies, “He was the better villain.” Elena: “Don’t sound so impressed.” Damon: “Well, I can’t help but be a little proud. But tell me, you gonna be okay?” More neck grabbing. Elena: “You can’t kiss me again.” Damon: “I know.” Elena: “You can’t. It’s not right.” Damon: “It’s right. It’s just not right now.” Eye-roll. The two say their goodnights, and Damon leaves.
The next day, Elena and Jeremy hug. They’re saying goodbye, as Jeremy is off to Denver. (I hope you packed your boots and gloves, Jer, because I was just there and it is CHILLY. Also, the air is really dry, so remember to moisturize and stay hydrated.) Then Bonnie shows up. But she’s not there to out the compulsion. Instead, she just wants to say goodbye. She hugs her ex and is all smiles, but when she turns to Elena, you can see that she’s upset. Jeremy looks back at them and gives them a half smile. Goodbye, littlest Gilbert. I can’t wait to see what supernatural girlfriend you bring home. Maybe a succubus?
Meanwhile, Caroline wakes up in her bed with her teddy. Awww. She touches her neck where the bite used to be, but it’s healed. Then she sees a black velvet box, tied with a white ribbon. The handwritten note says “from Klaus.” It’s a diamond bracelet. Dun dun dun. The best part about this gift is that it is such a major “F**k you” to Tyler’s little charm bracelet. I guess that’s what you get for challenging your hybrid master, Ty. Hee. Also, does this mean that Klaus is courting Caroline now? Should we be worried? Need. More. Episodes. IMMEDIATELY!
Cut to Matt and Elena on the bridge. Matt: “You’re not gonna jump, are you?” Elena: “Thanks for coming. I was just thinking about what you said—about us being stuck.” Matt: “I was buzzed, Elena. I can’t be held responsible for being judgmental.” Elena: “I do feel stuck, Matt. I feel like I’ve been holding onto the girl who was supposed to die here with her parents. The girl who had a normal life and didn’t fall in love with vampires.” Matt: “You’re not that girl anymore. It’s okay if you want to let her go.” Elena: “Is it? Because I feel like I’ve disappointed her a little. Like I’ve disappointed them—my parents.” Matt: “My two cents, as a guy who knew that other girl: you’re doing a lot better than you think.” Awww. He then majorly ups the adorable factor by picking a handful of yellow flowers. “Here lies Elena Gilbert. A fun (?) girlfriend and an amazing friend.” Then he throws the flowers into the water below. Awww. I’m getting verklempt. At this point, I was yelling at the TV screen: “SOMEBODY just kiss him already! He’s perfect!” No one listened. Then Francesca was like, “YOU kiss him. No one else likes him. He’s not bad boy enough.” And then I quickly went on Twitter to record her BLASPHEMY. I suffer so.
Back at the Mystic Grill bar, Alaric is drinking. Obvious sentence is obvious. Meredith enters: “Thank god. Another day drinker.” You guys, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I can just feel it. She continues: “I lost a patient. What’s your excuse?” Excuse? Excuse? No one needs an excuse in Mystic Falls. How about, “Because I live in Mystic Falls!” Alaric does actually have a good excuse today though: “Well, I put a kid on a plane.” Awww. And double awww that Alaric was the one who took him to the airport. Meredith: “Yours?” Smooth, Mere. Smooth. Alaric: “Nah, it’s a long story.” Meredith: “Then you should probably buy me a beer.” Hmmm. In the alcoholic world of Mystic Falls, does beer even count as day drinking? Amateur.
Meanwhile, in the woods, Sheriff Forbes shows Damon a dead body. Fun times! It’s Brian Walters, the medical examiner who used to date Meredith. And he was STAKED in the heart–murdered! Dun dun dun! The end. So, who do you think killed poor Brian? Is Meredith too obvious? Another Council member? Weigh in below.