THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “The New Deal”

Photo Credit: Bob Mahoney/The CW.

Read on for my recap & review of The Vampire Diaries 3×10, “The New Deal,” aired Thursday, January 5th, 2012:

I have three recaps to catch up with (I know, right?), so this one is going to be quick. First of all, hurrah for the return of The Vampire Diaries! If you’re reading this, you made it through the long and dark hiatus, so pat yourself on the back. This might even mean that you could stand a chance of survival in Mystic Falls. Oh … who am I kidding? That place is a hellmouthy death trap. It’s a miracle anyone’s still alive. On the plus side, there’s a seemingly bottomless supply of alcohol to keep the townspeople’s pain dulled. Keep on keeping on, Scoobies. We’re rooting for you to get through the week.

“The New Deal” was an excellent return for TVD, picking up where we left off in November. Remember how Stefan stole Klaus’s coffins and then called him to gloat about it? Revenge-Stefan is a barrel of laughs, I tell you. However, with Stefan holding onto Klaus’s family, the rest of the Scooby Gang is left paying the price. Klaus is NOT pleased. Revenge-Stefan doesn’t give a damn, however, because he’ll make Klaus pay even if it kills him … and everyone else he knows. Oh, how far the youngest Salvatore brother has come. He may be basically horrible right now, but he has never been more fun to watch. He gives me the scary shivers, you guys. Shivers! While Damon is not too happy about this turn of events, particularly Elena’s vulnerability, he and his little bro have a heart to heart (involving fisticuffs), eventually entering into a partnership with Bonnie to keep the coffins hidden. There has just got to be another way to destroy Klaus, and they are determined to find it. Go team!

Coffin-hiding -Klaus-destroying wasn’t the only titular “new deal” made in the episode. Elena also made a deal with Klaus to trade Rebekah for Jeremy. She actually shows Klaus the dirty dungeon floor where poor Beks is still lying face down, all corpsified; and Klaus agrees to spare Elena’s little brother. However, this doesn’t ease Elena’s mind, as Klaus isn’t exactly the most trustworthy. He is still obsessed with getting back what Stefan stole. So, Elena, Damon, and Alaric all agreed that Jeremy should be compelled and sent out of town. Say WHA-?!?! Yeah, more on that horrible idea later. 

Dream a little dream of Klaus …

An important catalyst for the events in “The New Deal” was a series of recurring dreams. That’s right, dreams. As if it wasn’t already hard enough to be Bonnie Bennett, the poor witch has been treated to dreams featuring that old creepy Witch House and four coffins, one of which opens to reveal Klaus holding that dratted necklace. Girl can’t even escape Original drama when she sleeps. When discussing said dreams with Elena, Bonnie proves that she has clearly never paid attention to anything that has ever happened over the course of the show because she seriously tries to play it off like it means nothing. Uh huh. Sure.

Nevertheless, Bonnie’s curiosity does get the better of her, so she visits that old creepy Witch House, where she is surprised to find Stefan. He needs her help. He explains to her that Klaus stored his family in coffins (such a charming man), and he stole them. Stefan needs Bonnie’s help to keep them hidden. Bonnie’s not so sure, pointing out how this will only make Klaus angrier. Good point, Bonnie! Stefan is not cowed: “His family’s his one weakness. As long as I have that, I can ruin him.” But at what cost, Revenge-Stefan?! Take a look at Emily Thorne’s recent collateral damage for example. Hasn’t Jack Porter suffered enough?!?! Sigh. Bonnie, however, is intrigued by the idea of destroying Klaus. Still, she doesn’t think she has enough power to hide four Originals. Stefan: “You’re a witch. You hate Klaus. I know you can figure something out.” Or maybe he said, “And I can figure something out.” Or maybe he said something else. Oh, Paul Wesley, you’re great at your job and all, but you are the most egregious of the TVD mumblers.

The Bonnie-Stefan duo adds a third member when Damon catches onto things, though there is a bit of a long and twisty road on the path to their new deal. After Klaus comes to the Mystic Grill, asking about Stefan, Klaus shows up at Casa Salvatore to do some more threatening. Stalk much, Klaus? Go hang out in your big new fortress (yep, he has a new house!) and give everyone a break. Luckily, Damon has been smart enough to drink vervain, so Klaus can’t compel him. He can, however, compel Jeremy, which he does. Poor Jeremy tries to kill himself, only to be saved by Alaric. More on that later.

Anyway, so after Jeremy is almost killed, Bonnie comes clean to Elena about Stefan’s location. Elena and Damon hightail it to the Witch House, where we learn that the witchy spirits still hate Damon. Hee. So, Elena goes in alone and has a confrontation with Stefan. Things don’t go well, culminating in Elena slapping her ex and telling him to go to hell. When Elena meets back up with Damon outside, he realizes what he has to do. Damon hands her his car keys and tells her, “You go deal with your brother, I’ll deal with mine.” Dun dun dun.

The Salvatores banter, fight, argue, and eventually confess their true feelings. Stefan explains, “Piece by piece, Klaus took everything from me. I’m doing the same to him.” He also admits that he saved Klaus in order to save Damon. Awww. Damon: “When are you gonna get it through your head. Stop saving me.” Wait, are they the Winchesters? Boys, boys, boys, it’s okay. Saving each other is inevitable. Don’t fight it. Damon wants to know why Stefan saved him, even though it’s waaaaay obvious. He loves you, you idiot! But I think the confusion is more about the state of Stefan’s switch. He’s acting like an a**hole, yet he’s saving his brother’s life. It’s like he’s season 1 Damon. I can see why the older Salvatore would be confused.

Eventually, the brothers come to a meeting of the minds. Stefan says there has to be another way to kill Klaus, and Damon wants in. Stefan eventually agrees, and the two enter the Witch House together. Stefan explains: “Witch spirits hate Klaus as much as we do. They’re using their powers to hide the coffins.” Aha! So even if Klaus were to enter the house, he wouldn’t be able to see the coffins. Brilliant! I can’t wait to see who screws it up! Anyone taking bets? Oh, and Damon agrees to keep this a secret from Elena. So, for now, this whole coffin-hiding-Klaus-killing plan is a deal between Stefan, Damon, Bonnie, and the dead witch spirits.

At the end of the episode, Stefan and Bonnie gaze at the coffins. Bonnie tries to open one in particular, but it won’t budge. Stefan says that he has tried everything. Bonnie thinks it’s closed with a spell: “The witches led me here for a reason. I think whatever’s inside this coffin is our answer.” Dun dun dun. Theories? Thomas Galvin tweeted my favorite theory so far: 

New Theory: the coffin is empty, and will only open when Klaus is defeated. It's designed to be his prison. #TVD

January 17, 2012 4:20 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@thomascgalvin

Thomas Galvin

Run Elena run …

Elena spent the majority of “The New Deal,” running from Klaus and his hybrids—both literally and figuratively. She’s scared and exhausted, but she doesn’t back down. For example, when Klaus comes to the Mystic Grill, whining about his missing coffins, Elena goes all snarky on him: “That sounds like a Klaus and Stefan problem.” Ha! Well played, Elena. Unfortunately for Elena, however, Klaus makes it her problem … by attacking the people she loves. Sucks to be someone Elena loves.

I’ll get into the details of Klaus’s plot to compel Jeremy to kill himself in the next section, but suffice it to say, Jeremy has a big target on his back and Elena is beside herself with worry. Thus, she decides to make a deal with Klaus, Elena-style. She invites ol’ lion face over to Casa Salvatore, where she trades Rebekah for Jeremy. Klaus: “Consider him spared.” Elena also admits that she was the one who daggered Beks, but Klaus assures her that he can control his sister. Unfortunately, there is really no closure here, as Klaus still really wants Stefan. Um, I mean … wants Stefan to return his coffins. Elena lies that she doesn’t know where he is. Klaus threatens Elena’s other loved ones. Elena: “He doesn’t care about me anymore. You made sure of that. You turned him into a monster. Now he’s your problem. And just so you know, I’m not the only one Rebekah wants dead. She knows what you did to your mother. She knows that you killed her.” Dun dun dun. You’ve got to admire the Petrova fire in that girl. But I can’t decide if Elena telling Klaus that was smart or stupid. On the one hand, it was smart because this will guarantee that Klaus won’t awaken Rebekah, keeping Elena safe from a second murderous Original. But on the other hand, she missed the chance to leave Klaus vulnerable to a surprise attack from his sister.

A day in the life of Jeremy Gilbert …

This was an amazing episode for Jeremy. I basically felt the entire gamut of possible emotions towards the littlest Gilbert in the span of an hour. I went from disappointed, to amused, to annoyed, to angry, to worried, to terrified, to relieved, to impressed, to heartbroken. Well done, writers. Well done.

Early on in the episode, we learn that Jeremy plagiarized his midterm paper, and that he was fired from the Grill last week. Uh oh, Jer. Looks like you’re on a downward spiral. To further complete his downward spiral, Jeremy is hanging out with Tyler. Not sure that hanging out with Klaus’s lapdog is the best idea, what with Klaus gunning for Elena’s loved ones. Uh oh.

We see the two boys hanging out in the woods, letting out their aggression by getting drunk and shooting stuff. Jeremy sums it up: “Profound.” Hee. Also, Jeremy “borrowed” Alaric’s crossbow. (See amazing picture above.) Tyler asks what the deal is with Mr. Saltzman. “He’s like your guardian now?” Jeremy: “Sort of. Yeah. I think he feels responsible for us.” Awww. Tyler then asks if Jeremy likes him. And he DOES, you guys. He really does. Awww. Then Tyler stupidly reveals how to kill a hybrid: “I’m a hybrid, Gilbert. You can’t kill me unless you cut off my head or rip out my heart.” That will be important later.

Elena and Alaric are not happy about this turn of events. When Jeremy returns home, Alaric insists on having a meal together “like a typical atypical family.” Awww. Elena calls Jeremy on his firing, but Jer is having none of it. He has plans with Tyler, and when he announces this, Elena and Alaric look on with stern disapproval. Elena: “He was sired by Klaus. He’s dangerous.” Jeremy points out that Elena is not exactly one to judge when it comes to relationships with dangerous supernatural creatures. Point to Jeremy. However, then Jeremy straight up invites Tyler into the Gilbert home, and I had to scream at my TV screen for a few minutes. Baaaad move, Jeremy. Bad move.

So then, Elena, Alaric, Jeremy, and Tyler have it out in the Gilbert kitchen. So awkward. Elena mocks Tyler: “Unless you have check in with your hybrid master.” Cold. Alaric gets to the heart of the matter: “Tell me Tyler, what is the difference between being sired and being compelled?” Good question! Do tell. Tyler: “Compulsion: that’s just mind control. Like hypnosis. And being sired is … it’s like faith. You do something because you believe it’s the right thing.” Elena: “So you believe that serving Klaus is the right thing?” Tyler protests: “I don’t serve him. Klaus released me from a curse that was ruining my life. I owe him for that.” Alaric: “So, what if he asked you to jump off a bridge?” Tyler: “He wouldn’t. And even if he did, I’d be fine. I’m a hybrid.” Elena: “Okay, so what if he asked you to rip your own heart out?” Tyler: “He wouldn’t.” Elena: “What if he did?” Tyler: “Then I don’t know. Then I’d rip out my heart. You guys sound like Caroline. Getting all freaked out about something you don’t understand.” Elena: “You’re right. I don’t understand. Klaus has terrorized each and every one of us and you’re blindly loyal to him.” Well said. Tyler: “You’re over-thinking this. I can still make my own decisions.” Hmmm. After seeing “Our Town,” this is all just kind of semantic bulls**t, right?

A short time later, Jeremy gets a phone call (right after Klaus makes a phone call, hint hint), and Tyler leaves. Alaric says, “That was illuminating.” Except not. Elena: “So, Tyler Lockwood is a lunatic who has access to our house.” Hee. Alaric: “I don’t even think Tyler’s fully aware of what little reason lies behind what he’s saying. It’s like weird cult logic.” Yep. Elena then berates Jeremy some more, but when she turns around, Jeremy’s not there to be berated. Uh oh. He’s gone and his ring is on the table. Double uh oh.

So, basically, Klaus compelled Jeremy to take his ring off and stand in the middle of the street, where a hybrid races a car at him. Alaric saves him, just in the nick of time, only to get run over himself. My hero! Luckily, Alaric is wearing his ring, but as we will soon see, that ring is not what it once was. I guess dying four times is a lot, even for a magical ring. Oh, and Damon and Elena figure out that the reason Klaus was able to compel Jeremy was because he is no longer wearing his vervain bracelet. That’s why Tyler’s been hanging around Jer—to get him off the vervain. Bad Tyler! Damon decides that this means they need to the steal the coffins back from Stefan, so that they can give Klaus what they want. Jeremy thinks they should pack up their bags and leave: “This happens every time, no matter what we do. You get on my case about school and work. Who cares? None of us are gonna make it out of this town alive.” I mean, he’s not wrong. Elena decides this means she should make a deal to trade Rebekah for Jeremy’s safety. Damon protests, but as we saw above, Elena is Elena. She does what she wants.

But back to Jeremy’s journey. So, when he finds out what Tyler pulled, he goes into the woods and points a crossbow at Tyler. The boys argue. Jeremy: “Every time Klaus wants something, someone ends up dead. You think about that before you blindly do whatever he says.” Word. Tyler feels bad, and warns Jer to get home and stay inside.

Back at the Gilbert home, Alaric wakes up in a lot of pain. He’s alive, but he’s not doing well. He coughs up blood. “Something’s wrong … the ring.” OH NO, NOT ALAAAARIC!!! Get an ambulance, quick! Elena calls 911. When the paramedics come to pick Alaric up, that bumping-into-things hybrid interrupts and compels the paramedics. He then orders Elena to invite him in, or he won’t help Alaric. THEN, the stupid hybrid is SHOT IN THE BACK. BY JEREMY. WITH A CROSSBOW. Go, Jeremy! But that’s not all. Jeremy straight up goes into the kitchen, grabs a knife, and cuts off the hybrid’s head. “Now he’s dead.” Go, Jeremy! He just killed a hybrid to save Alaric. My hero. Elena is so freaked out, it’s like she’s never lived the past two and a half seasons. Really, Elena? Cowgirl up.

Later, Jeremy comes to see Alaric up at the hospital (more on his hospital stay later). As they are leaving, Alaric says, “I guess I have Damon’s blood to thank for the fact that I’m still walking?” Jeremy: “He said to say that you owe him a drink.” Ha! Alaric: “That’s funny. I’d rather have head trauma.” Ha! Alaric then asks if Jeremy is okay. Jeremy: “Why wouldn’t I be? I shot a hybrid in the back and chopped his head off with a meat cleaver. Typical Sunday, huh?” Awww. Jeremy, humorous/ depressive humor is just the first step in becoming a demon hunter. I’m so proud! Alaric is concerned, and reminds Jer that he can talk to him. Jeremy: “What could you tell me that I don’t already know? This is the way things are. It sucks, but I just gotta get used to it.” Aw, Jer, keep talking that way and you’ll be a Winchester in no time. As Jeremy walks away, Alaric looks concerned. Geez, Alaric. You haven’t been semi-retired from vampire slaying that long. This is the life. Cowboy up.

Sadly, neither Elena nor Alaric take my advice. That’s the thing about fictional characters. So rudely oblivious to the real world. It’s like they don’t even exist. Instead, Elena is brought nearly to tears by cleaning blood off her porch (I guess it is a sacred space), so she convinces Damon to compel Jeremy to move to Denver. Yep. Damon is all like, “Your sister thinks we should have another one of our talks.” Really? Because it worked out so well last time. Oh wait, no, NOTHING EVER WORKS OUT WELL ON THIS SHOW. Silly me. Apparently, the Gilberts have some nice family friends in Denver, and Jeremy is going to go stay with them. Alaric adds to the script: “Tell him he’s gonna leave Mystic Falls behind and never think twice about it.” Sigh.

Now, I understand that Elena’s intentions are good. She wants to protect her brother. But didn’t she learn her lesson in season one? Why do we have to go through this “You can’t mess with people’s right to make their own decisions” thing, AGAIN?! Also, I was really looking forward to Jeremy’s future as a bad ass hybrid-killer. You guys, it would have been SO FUN. Teaming up with Alaric, fighting evil, wearing layers. Why deny me, show? Why? Also, Jeremy is only two years younger than Elena, and he is mature enough to date someone Elena’s age. Elena’s behavior is just unrealistic. No one is that patronizing to a sibling so close in age, right? I mean, I have a little brother who is three years younger than me, and while I’m protective of his emotional well being, I would totally trust him to stand side by side with me and fight vampires. In fact, if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, I can only hope that he’ll be nearby. Hmmm … maybe I should move next door to him, just to be safe. I mean, maybe that’s partly because my little brother is 6’3” and a Marine, but still. Elena should feel the same about Jeremy. Your brother is someone who has your back in fight. Especially after he proved himself capable of beheading a hybrid WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE. I mean, seriously. Siblings that close in age are more like peers. Especially in Elena and Jeremy’s case, where they share all the same friends. And Jer has proved that he can take care of himself. Sigh.

“Mr. Saltzman, what is your secret?”

Okay, now let’s discuss my favorite part of the episode. Alaaaaaaric! And Meeeeeredith! Sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Okay, not yet … but soon! First of all, after Alaric’s major hero moment (swoon), death, recovery, and then collapse, he lands himself in the Mystic Falls Hospital. When he wakes up, he has places to go, so he is up and about in a flash (apparently Damon’s blood contributed to this). Then Torrey DeVitto enters, playing his doctor. Oh hi, Crazy Nanny Carrie. Long time no see. Your turn on Pretty Little Liars as Melissa almost makes me think you’re not really a crazy shovel-wielding nanny in disguise. You were that memorable. Anyway, so Torrey is playing a doctor, lab coat and everything. Think she’s too hot to be a doctor? Talk to Summer Roberts. Anyway, so the doctor can’t believe he’s on his feet so quickly, but Alaric shrugs it off: “I’m more of a walk-it-off kind of guy. Do I need to sign something?” Swoon. She wants to run more tests, but Ric has a family compulsion to attend. Torrey then introduces her character’s name as Dr. Fell. Woot! Another founding family member! Do you think she’ll be snooty? But wait. That is not all. “But the patients who follow my advice get to call me Meredith.” MEREDITH! You guys, this is really happening. I’m pretty sure my Twitter timeline basically exploded with emotion in that moment. Welcome, Meredith Fell. Please stay for a long time. Alaric thanks her for her concern, but she has one more question: “Mr. Saltzman, what is your secret? Guardian angel? Or did you sell your soul to the devil?” Alaric: “A little of both.” Smoooth, Ric. Smoooooth. I think it’s time for some more Chunky Monkey.

 “Brother’s girl and all …”

Once the sacred porch is restored to its immaculate glory, Elena and Damon can’t resist taking advantage of the locale. Porch scene alert! Elena: “I feel like a horrible person.” You know, because she asked a vampire to mind warp her little brother to move to another state. Damon: “You just saved his life, Elena. Take it from me: strange is bad, dead is worse.” Whatever, Damon. Damon thinks Jeremy is lucky to have Elena as a sister. Of course, maybe since Damon’s only sibling is a raving psychopath right now, his perspective is a little skewed. Just a thought. Elena then thanks Damon for everything, which prompts Damon to feel guilty. He admits that Stefan saved Klaus to save Damon, and stole the coffins to get even. He adds, “It means I’m an idiot, because I thought for one second that I didn’t have to feel guilty anymore.” Elena: “Guilty for what?” Really, Elena? Really? Damon: “For wanting what I want.” Elena: “Damon …” Damon: “I know. Believe me, I get it. Brother’s girl and all …” He starts to walk away but then turns back. “No! You know what? If I’m gonna feel guilty, I’m gonna feel guilty about this.” And with that, he kisses her and she kisses him back. Their first mutual kiss that was non-doppelgänger and non-death-bed related. And goodnight. The end.

Odds and ends …

• Can we discuss Alaric grading papers at a bar? I love him so. Not that I’ve ever graded papers while drinking, but for any of you who are concerned about this behavior, it will only help the students’ grades. Trust me.
• However, can we also discuss the fact that Alaric is broadcasting Jeremy’s grades for all the town to hear?! Especially a failing grade, resulting from plagiarism!? Not okay, dude. NOT OKAY. Way more unethical than grading while intoxicated. Ahem.
• There was a lot of drinking in this episode. I felt like I was watching Mad Men or something, what with all the day drinking. Kids, don’t try this at home, but obviously the most deadly drinking game of all time would simply be to watch this show and drink when the characters drink.
• What is with Elena and Damon and all the neck touching? I mean, seriously. That is their thing. They need a neck touching intervention.
• Klaus waking up Rebekah, only to dagger again in heart … I felt … sad, you guys. The family saga of the Originals is just so tragical. And there was something weirdly touching about how even though he left her dead, he didn’t want her left dead stabbed in the back. This show.

Related posts:

• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Dangerous Liaisons”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Bringing Out the Dead”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “The Ties That Bind”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Our Town”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Homecoming”