THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: Facts about Katherine Pierce
2010 September 9
Photo Credit: Quantrell Colbert/ The CW.
A couple weeks ago, I posted an excerpt from Alaric’s blog, “Super Sekrit Adventures of a Hot History-Teachin’ Vampire Slayer.” In response to that post, @IHeartTVD asked, “How can I inspire you to do a True Adventures of a Bitch Named Katherine post?” How could I resist? But then inspiration struck in a slightly different direction, and I decided to go for a list of true facts about Katherine, à la Chuck Norris.* As you might imagine, what follows is absolutely 100% the truth, without one bit of exaggeration.** Enjoy.***
Katherine Pierce Facts:
- Katherine Pierce invented curling irons, crimpers, and hairspray. Before her, girls just had to wear their hair naturally.
- Corsets were created in order for women to look like Katherine Pierce. They had no real effect on her, but were merely decorative.
- Katherine Pierce has never been in a fight. All her victims want to be bitten.
- Damon and Stefan wear rings to protect them from the sun. The sun wears a ring to protect itself from Katherine Pierce.
- Rhett Butler didn’t give a damn about Scarlett O’Hara because he was in love with Katherine Pierce.
- When aliens landed in Roswell in 1947, they turned right back around when they say Katherine Pierce. They weren’t about to mess with her.
- Katherine Pierce has been to Mars before, that’s why there are no signs of life. But she preferred the blood on Neptune.
- Katherine Pierce pierced her ears by biting them. The holes never healed, because immortality is no match for Katherine Pierce’s bite.
- Katherine Pierce will never die or pay taxes.
- When Katherine Pierce is bored, she says “Bloody Mary” three times in front of a mirror. Bloody Mary is too scared to appear.
- Katherine Pierce invented the miniskirt. You’re welcome, world.
- Katherine Pierce can make Batman cry.
- Reportedly Katherine Pierce was aboard the Titanic. You can guess the rest.
- Katherine Pierce’s tears consist of a deadly poison. Luckily, she has never cried.
- Blood is red because it’s Katherine Pierce’s favorite color.
Add your own Katherine Pierce facts in the Comments section.
*Some of the Katherine Facts are adapted from ChuckNorrisFacts.com Most I made up myself.
**Okay, there may be some sliiiiiiight bit of exaggeration. Or a lot. You decide.
***This post is total silliness, of course.
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question: how did she bite her own ears?
Haha! Um … she has reallllllllly long fangs and they are possibly stretchy. Yeah, uh … that’s it.
Lucia, once again I’m in love with your obsessions. This is fantastic.
Katherine Pierce can touch MC Hammer
@Sierra. – you are genius. that almost had me falling of my hair.
This blog as awesome, totally made me laugh. Thanls:)
Love it!
Katherine Pierce knows how this season of The Vampire Diaries ends. Because she wrote it and the show is actually a documentary of her life. Also she invented the convertible to make room for her updos while driving.
Check out Ashley´s recent blog post: Nicholas Brendan joins your Dream Cruise Con
Ashley, this is amazing. It totally cracked me up. I read it out loud to my sister and she was cracking up too. Hee.
this is hilarious! I love your posts on the vampire diaries!
Which scene is the picture you have on here from?
The picture is from “Children of the Damned,” in the Apothecary shop.
Katherine Pierce invented lyposuction to fit into her skin-tight outfits.