THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Bloodlines”

The fabulous Gina Torres as Bree. Photo Credit: Guy D'Alema/The CW.

Read on for my recap and review of The Vampire Diaries 1×11, aired January 21st, 2010:

Warning: the recap you are about to read is a tad cranky.  Proceed carefully, and with a sense of humor.  The Vampire Diaries has really become the show where awesome chicks go to die.  I am NOT a fan of this trend.  I want my “hot chicks with superpowers,” and I want them to stop getting killed (or, alternatively, losing their powers due to fear).  My first reaction after this episode was that I would like to see Alaric the Vampire Slayer stake Damon through his cold dead heart.  Of course, upon further thought, that would not be a very good idea for the show (despite Damon’s devilish ways, he is entertaining), but it sure would be satisfying.  Like, very satisfying.  But I’m jumping ahead of myself.  When we last left off, before the HELL-atus, Elena had slept with Stefan, but then she discovered that she looks exactly like Stefan’s ex, Katherine.  Yes, that was awkward and alarming, and she ran off, leaving her vervain necklace behind her.  Stefan tried to call Elena to explain, but she was too upset, and driving, and she hit a figure who was standing in the road.  The car flipped over, and Elena was injured and stuck inside.  She saw the figure she had hit get up and walk toward her, and then we had to wait a million years to find out what happened.  So, on to the recap.

The mysterious figure approaches Elena’s car, and she is pinned inside and screams.  But then, suddenly, the mysterious figure speeds away.  So, does his super speed power make him a vamp?  Or some other supernatural creature?  As soon as the other guy (or rather masculine gal?) is gone, Damon approaches and is surprisingly sweet and helpful.  He carries Elena out of the car.  However, don’t let that sweetness fool you—he is dead to me (as in dead dead, at least for awhile).  Elena murmurs, “I look like her,” and then passes out.  He carries her off (to safety?).  Cue the title card, though it looks slightly different, and no longer has the rose. Is this a brand new title card, or did I fail to pay close enough attention last year?

Cut to Alaaahhric and his huge ring.  He is typing, and he gives a VO: “I found one, after years of research and study.  There it was, right in front of me.  I was terrified. As I stared it in the eyes, I drove a stake through its heart. I was right about Mystic Falls.  There is evil here.  I can sense it.  Feel it.  It’s everywhere.”  I think Alaric the Vampire Slayer really undersells how awesome of a staking it was.  There was cheering on my end.  However, then we get a possible clue as to why Alaric knows about vampires and wants to kill them, when we flash back to him and his wife.  They were so in love. But now she’s dead, and he’s sad.  I suspect that vampires were involved.

Meanwhile, Elena wakes up in the car with Damon.  Damon nonchalantly greets her: “Morning.” Elena: “Where are we?”  Damon: “Georgia.”  Elena is, of course, shocked to hear this.  I mean, you get in a car accident, and wake up in another state with your boyfriend’s brother?  Awkward.  Add to that, your companion is a vicious killer?  A tad alarming.  Elena: “Seriously, Damon, where are we?”  Damon: “Seriously, we’re in Georgia.”  He asks how she’s feeling, and notes that there are no broken bones.  How does he know that there are no broken bones?  Damon explains, “I checked.”  Hmm.  What exactly did that check-up involve?  Have they decided to give vampires x-ray vision in the show mythology?  I think not.  *Ahem*  Elena remembers hitting that guy with her car, and she begins to get a bit freaked, and asks where her phone is.  She says that no one knows where she is, and she convinces Damon to pull over and stop the car.  Damon: “Oh, you were so much more fun when you were asleep.”

After they pull over, Elena is not feeling so well when she gets out of the car.  Damon super-speeds to catch her from falling.  He is so obsessed with her.  However, I think so far, at least consciously, this is definitely only because she looks EXACTLY like his true love, Katherine.  Elena is still not thrilled to be on this spontaneous road trip: “We have to go back.  [ … ]  Why are you doing this?  I can’t be in Georgia.  I wrecked my car.  I have to go home.  This is kidnapping.”  He says that she’s melodramatic, and she responds that he’s not funny.  Elena: “You can’t do this.  I’m not going to Georgia.”  Damon: “Well, you’re in Georgia.  And without your magic little necklace, I might add.”  Elena: “What are you trying to prove?”  Hmmm.  Good question.  At that moment, a phone rings, and Elena realizes, “That’s my phone.”  Damon: “Mmm, it’s your boyfriend.”  She doesn’t want to talk to Stefan, so Damon answers and tells Stefan that Elena doesn’t really want to talk to him.  Stefan is not happy at this latest development: “Damon, I swear to God, if you touch her …”  Damon: “You have a good day.  Mmmhmm.  Bye now.”  Stefan throws the phone across the room, and clutches Elena’s vervain necklace with a panicked look on his face.  Elena: “Look, no one knows where I am.  Can we please just go back?”  Damon: “We’re almost there.”  Elena: “Where’s there?”  Damon: “A little place outside Atlanta.  Oh, c’mon Elena, you don’t want to go back right now, do you?  Time out. [Complete with hand gesture.]  Trust me, your problems are still gonna be there when you get home.  Step away from your life for five minutes.  Five minutes.”  Elena very naively asks: “Am I gonna be safe with you?”  Damon:”Yes.”  Elena: “You promise not to do that whole mind control thing with me?”  Damon: “Yes.”  Elena even more naively asks: “Can I trust you?”  Damon: “Get in the car.”  Sigh.  This is sure to go well.

Meanwhile, the rest of our characters (barring the lovely Caroline and Matt, who were glaringly absent in this episode) are at the high school.  In the school parking lot, Alaric is looking through his car for his ring, and Jeremy approaches.  This is clearly a device to show us that Alaric is NOT a vampire, as the sun is shining bright, he’s not wearing the ring, and he is still very much alive.   He finally finds it, and addresses Jeremy: “Losing family heirlooms—bad idea.  How’s your extra credit coming?  You pick a topic?”  Jeremy: “Mystic Falls, the Civil War era.”  Alaric: “What’s the angle?”  Jeremy: “My family.  I found a journal of an ancestor who lived in the 1800s, and the Gilberts were one of the original founding families at Mystic Falls.”  More historical reveals to come, it seems.  Also, I am very intrigued about the family heirloom status of Alaric’s ring.  Is his family connected to Mystic Falls, and the Salvatores?  Hmmm.

Elsewhere, outside the school, Stefan approaches Bonnie.  They have awkward small talk about how they are.  He’s not back at school, but he came there specifically to find her.  He wants her help with a spell.  Bonnie: “Stefan, I know that Elena is ok with this, and I appreciate your help, but I’m not really ready to dive into it right now.”  Stefan: “I have Elena’s necklace. I was hoping you could use this to make some sort of connection.”  Bonnie wonders: “How do you know that I can do this?”  Stefan: “Because I’ve seen a few witches over the years.  I’ve seen what they can do.  Give it a shot.”  Bonnie: “I’m still new at it.”  She tries, and fails.  She then asks him to check if anyone is looking, and does something with her hands over the necklace, but there is something wrong with her powers.  Bonnie gets really upset: “There’s something wrong with me.  I have to go.  I’m sorry Stefan.  I can’t help you.”  She runs off.

Cut back to Elena and Damon in the car.  Damon says that he left her car on the side of the road, and it should be safe.  Elena: “What about the man in the road?  Was he a …?”  Damon thinks so, but doesn’t know the vamp in question: “It’s not like we all hang out together at the vamp bar and grill.”  Um, except they totally do: the Mystic Grill.  The drive up to Bree’s Bar.  Elena: “You brought me to a bar?  Damon, I’m not old enough.  They’re not going to let me in.”  Damon thinks they will.

They enter the bar, and who do we behold?  Gina frakin’ Torres.  And she looks fabulous.  Be still, my Browncoat heart.  She is the Bree referred to in the bar’s name, and immediately recognizes Damon.  Bree: “No, no it can’t be.  Damon?  [She walks up to him.]  My honey pie.”  They kiss, and there is some heat.  Bree: “Listen up everybody.  Here’s to the man that broke my heart, crushed my soul, destroyed my life, and ruined any and all chances of happiness.  Drink up.”  Awkward.  Damon, however, must be used to such greetings, as he just smiles at this.  Bree pours some shots, and they drink together (but no drinking for Elena … yet).  Bree asks Elena: “So, how did he rope you in?”  Elena: “I’m not roped in.  Actually I’m dating …”  Bree interrupts her: “Honey, if you’re not roped, you’re whipped.  Either way, just enjoy the ride.”  Elena sees there is no point in trying to clarify: “OK.”  She then asks Bree how they met.  They met in college, it turns out.  Bree explains: “About twenty years ago when I was a sweet young freshman, I met this beautiful man, and I fell in love.  And then he told me about his little secret, and it made me love him more.  You see, I had a little secret of my own, that I was dying to share with somebody.”  Damon whispers to Elena: “She’s a witch.”  Bree: “You changed my world, you know.”  Damon: “I rocked your world.”  Ugh.  Damon is acting like such a d*#che.  Bree: “He is good in the sack, isn’t he?  But mostly he’s just a Walkaway Joe.  So, what is it that you want?”  Use you and abuse you, Bree.  You think you would have known by now.

Damon’s Song

That boy’s just a Walkaway Joe,
Born to be a leaver.
Tell you from the word “go,”
Destined to deceive her.
He’s the wrong kind of paradise.
She’s gonna know it in a matter of time.
That boy’s just a Walkaway Joe.

Just a little while into Abilene,
He pulls into a station and he robs it clean.
She’s waitin’ in the car
Underneath the Texaco star.

She only wanted love,
Never bargained for this.
She can’t help but love him for the way he is.
She’s only seventeen,
And there ain’t no reasoning.
So she’ll ride this ride
As far as it will go, but. . .

That boy’s just a Walkaway Joe,
Born to be a leaver.
Tell you from the word “go,”
Destined to deceive her.
He’s the wrong kind of paradise.
She’s gonna know it in a matter of time.
That boy’s just a Walkaway Joe.

~”Walkaway Joe,” by Trisha Yearwood

Cut to Jeremy at the library, looking for books for his paper.  A girl drops some books on him, and then apologizes.  She is adorable, and then they bang heads trying to pick up the books.  They introduce themselves to each other, and her name is Anna (played by Malese Jow).

Meanwhile, Bonnie is at her Grams’ house, and freaking out.  Grams comes home, and Bonnie is relieved: “Thank God you’re back.”  Grams: “And hello to you too.  What’s the matter?”  Bonnie says that her powers are gone, and Grams tells her to calm down, and asks what happened.  Bonnie says that she can’t tell, because she promised.  Grams: “Well, first of all, there is nothing in any of these [referring to all the books in front of her] that’s gonna help you.  If you’re blocked, it’s in here.  You got to clear it out and your back in business.”  Bonnie: “Clear what out?”  Grams: “Whatever’s got you so scared.”  While Bonnie’s fear makes a lot of sense, given the events of “History Repeating.” Still, I really hope that she gets more comfortable with her powers, soon.  One of the biggest strengths about Bonnie’s character in the books was how she was motivated by love and loyalty to her friends.  I would like to see Bonnie more connected to the rest of the characters, rather than working through everything scared and alone, with only her Grams to guide her.  I would also like to see less damsel-in-distress scenarios.

Cut to Elena, who calls Aunt Jenna and apologizes.  She lies that she fell asleep at Bonnie’s and then went to school.  Jenna asks if she’s ok, and Elena give a vague response: “You know, Stefan and stuff.”

Meanwhile, inside the bar, Bree and Damon talk magic.  Damon: “C’mon, there’s got to be another way.”  Bree: “After all these years, it’s still only Katherine.  How do you even know she’s still alive?”  Damon: “Well, you help me get into that tomb, we’ll find out.”  Bree: “I already did, twenty years ago.  Three easy steps: comet, crystal, spell.”  Damon says that he doesn’t have the crystal anymore.  Bree is annoyed: “That’s it Damon, it’s Emily’s spell.”  Damon suggests a new crystal, a new spell.  Bree: “It doesn’t work that way, baby.  Emily’s spell is absolute.  You can’t get into that tomb.”  Damon is not happy.  However, I think that it is still pretty likely that the tomb will be opened, eventually.

Cut to Bonnie, who is in the woods, and approaching the old ruins of the church, under which lies the tomb in question.  She picks up a leaf, and tries to lift it with her magic powers, but it doesn’t work.  She hears a noise, and then falls through the ground.  Uh oh.

Meanwhile, Stefan calls Elena, and this time she decides to answer.  He asks where she is, but Elena is more concerned about why he lied.  Stefan: “Not til I explain.”  Elena: “So you didn’t lie?”  Stefan: “Just tell me where you are, so I can come get you.”  Elena is having none of that: “How am I connected to Katherine, Stefan?”  Stefan: “I honestly don’t know.”  Elena: “And I’m supposed to believe that?”  Stefan says that it’s the truth, but she hangs up on him.  Damon comes out, and asks if she’s ok.  Elena tells him not to pretend to care, as she knows that he’s gloating inside.  Bree watches this exchange, and then turns on the blender and gets on the phone.  At least she knows to be careful about vamp super-hearing.  Bree: “Hey, it’s Bree.  You’ll never guess who walked into my bar.” And the plot thickens.

Back at the ruins, Bonnie gets up, and she is in some underground room—probably very close to the tomb.  She is scared when she sees a pentagram on the wall.  A witch scared of a pentagram?  Hmmm.

Meanwhile, Stefan goes to see Bonnie, and Grams opens the door.  Stefan: “I’m Stefan, I’m a friend of Bonnie’s.  [They shake hands.]  Her dad told me that she might be here.”  Grams: “She was, but not anymore.”  Stefan: “Do you know where she went?”  Grams: “No, but you do.”  He’s all like “WHAT?”  Grams: “I told her to face down her fear, and I’m sensing now that you know exactly why she was scared.  You know what I am, and yet you offered me your hand, which means you wanted me to see that I can trust you.”  Stefan: “Can you?”  Grams: “I trust you’ll keep her safe.  Better be on your way now, I’m not going to invite you in.  I’m sure you understand why.”  I love Grams and her vamp savvy ways.

Cut to Jeremy and Anna in the library.  She gives him some pointers on how to find what he’s looking for.  She asks what he needs, and  Jeremy answers: “Local 1860s.  Do you work here?”  Anna says that she doesn’t, and that she’s home schooled.  She explains, “I study here for a mock school environment.”  She asks what his topic is, and Jeremy replies: “The town’s fear and hysteria surrounding the war and how it influenced certain writers at the time.”  Anna: “You might want to focus that.”  Jeremy: “The origin of local folklore and myths.”  Anna: “You mean the vampires.”  Dun dun dun.  Someone else who knows about vampires!

Cut back to Elena and Damon.  She wonders whether being descended from Katherine makes her part vampire.  Damon explains: “Vampires can’t procreate.  But we love to try.  No.  If you were related, it would mean that Katherine had a child before he was turned.”  Well, that is a helpful piece of information—that vampires can’t procreate—and also a relief.  Though we aren’t completely off the hook, as in other vampire mythologies that has been true, yet miracle vamp babies were still born.  I am crossing my fingers that there are no such babies in this show.  Elena asks, “Did Stefan think that he could use me to replace her?”  I think Damon is the wrong person to ask that information, as Damon may have the same motivation.  She seems to be blindly ignoring the fact that Damon was also in love with Katherine.  Wake up Elena!  Damon: “It’s kind of creepy if you ask me.”  Ha!  Speak for yourself, Damon.  Throughout this exchange, Damon has been eating people food, and Elena wonders: “How can you even eat, if technically you’re a …?”  Damon: “Vamp.  It’s not such a bad word.  As long as I keep a healthy diet of blood in my system, my body functions pretty normally.”  Aha!  More answers.  After “You’re Undead to me,” I had wondered whether the vamps could enjoy people food, and whether they could experience the full range of taste.  It’s so convenient when shows answer questions.  Elena wonders why Damon is being so nice to her: “Is this nice act, is any of it real?”  Before Damon answers, Bree brings Damon a beer, and Elena asks for one too.  In response to Damon’s questioning gaze, she states: “Timeout, remember, for five minutes?  Well, that five minutes is gonna need a beer.”

Cut to Jeremy and Anna in the library.  Jeremy: “Wait, you’re kidding me, right?  There’s no such thing as vampires.”  Oh Jeremy, you are slow.  Anna: “Well, there’s not a lot of documentation, but the stories have been told since the Civil War.  My granddad used to tell me all these creepy stories when I was little, and he said that his granddad told them to him.”  Jeremy: “Yeah, that would be folklore.  Vampires are a metaphor for the demons of the day.” Anna: “Which are?” Jeremy: “The Union soldiers. I’ve read the stories.  They talk about the enemy.  The demons who attack at night.  Ana: “That sounds like vampires to me.”   Jeremy: “Allegorical vampires.  Because that’s what it is.  Creative expression during a volatile time.  I mean a country at war doesn’t want they want realism, they want fantasy.  Thus, vampire fiction.”  Well said, Jeremy.  That’s as good of an explanation for the current vamp craze as any that I’ve heard.  Anna is also impressed: “Wow, you’re smart.  I gotta admit, when I first saw you, I kind of missed it.”  You are not alone, Anna.  Jeremy: “Yeah, I’ve had a rough go of it recently, but I’m just now getting back to my old self.”  Hmm, I wonder how long Jeremy’s upswing will last?  Anna tells him good luck, and says she has to get home.  However, before she leaves, she reveals that her great-grandfather kept a creepy journal about vampires too!  Jeremy: “Are you sure you have to go?”

Meanwhile, Bonnie is still in the underground tunnel.  She can’t get cell service, and she is still scared of the pentagram.  Someone comes up behind her, and she screams.  But it’s only Stefan.  He tells her to close her eyes, and trust him.  At that, he jumps out of the hole with her in his arms.  Stefan: “You can open your eyes now.”  Bonnie: “Whoa.”  Stefan: “I didn’t want to scare you.”  Bonnie: “How did you know where I was?”  Stefan: “Well your grandmother told me what you were doing, and I guessed the where.”  Bonnie: “I heard them, down there.  Behind the door.  Are they in pain?”  Stefan: “In the beginning, yes.  But not anymore.  They’ve starved to the point of desiccation.”  Wow, Stefan has sure thought about this a lot, and he is surprisingly ok with it.  Bonnie: “But if they have blood?”  Stefan: “That’s not gonna happen.  Emily saw to that when she had you destroy the crystal.  You’re safe.”  I don’t believe that for a minute.

Back at Bree’s bar, Elena is drunk and hilarious.  She, Damon, Bree and others take a shot, and this is clearly not the first one.  Elena to Damon: “Do you need a bib?”  Ha!  Damon: “I’m sorry, I can’t unhinge my jaw like a snake to consume alcohol.”  Wow, who knew that Elena had such powers?  Elena: “Whatever.  Who’s next?  Another round, Bree?”  A random girl tells her that she should be on the floor.  Elena: “I am not even drunk.  My tolerance is like way up here.”  Riiiight.  Bree walks away and makes pointed eye contact with a new guy (played by Brandon Quinn) who entered the bar.  She silently indicates towards Damon.  So do you think that this guy is the one in the road?

Cut to Jeremy and Anna playing pool at the Mystic Grill.  Anna has no idea where her great-grandfather’s journal is, and Jeremy thinks that it’s weird that their ancestors kept the same journals.  Anna wonders whether they are based on something partially historical, Jeremy is still determined that it’s metaphorical.  He says that his grandfather wrote short stories, and also references The Lost Boys and Near Dark.  Anna asks, “Are those movies?”  She seems really out of touch with popular culture.  She proposes that they have a “fright night,” and watch a bunch together.  Jeremy, very unconvincingly replies: “Yeah.  Yeah, sure.”  Anna is a smart girl:”Why does that sound like a ‘no way in hell’?  Sorry, I’m blunt.”  Jeremy says that he doesn’t want her to get the wrong idea, as he just recently got out of something.  Anna backtracks: “Oh, no worries.  I meant as friends.  OK, I really got to go.  Nice meeting you Jeremy.”  Jeremy is an idiot.  At least some things never change.

Meanwhile, Elena gets a call from a very worried Aunt Jenna.  She goes outside, so as to hear her better, and trips and drops her phone.  At that moment the unknown man from the bar comes out and grabs her.

Back in the bar, Bree asks Damon where his girl is.  He looks around and doesn’t see her.  Then, he goes outside to look, and it’s a trap.  Elena screams: “Damon, no!”  The mysterious guy, who turns out to be a vampire, comes out and beats Damon with a metal bar, and dumps gasoline all over him.  According to IMDB, this mysterious guy is named Lee, so I’m gonna go with that.  Damon: “Who are you?”  Lee: “That’s perfect.  You have no idea.”  Well, he is certainly someone who really hates Damon.  Elena: “What are you talking about?  What did he do?”  He reveals that Damon killed his girlfriend, and yells at Damon: “What did she do to you?  What did she do to you?”  Damon: “Nothing.”  Lee, who is now clearly Lexi’s boyfriend: “My girlfriend went to visit Stefan, and Damon killed her.  Got it?”  Elena realizes that his girlfriend was Lexi.  She is confused, and Lexi had said that he was human. Elena: “Lexie turned you?”  Unknown Lee: “If you want to be with someone forever, you have to live forever.”  Food for thought, in regard to Elena’s future.  Elena: “She loved you.  She said that when it’s real, you can’t walk away.”  Lee: “Well, that’s a choice you’re not going to have to make.”  Elena begs for Damon’s life: “Don’t.  Please don’t hurt him.”  Lee takes out a match and says that he’s doing her a favor.  Elena doesn’t give up: “Lexi loved you, and she was good, and that means you’re good too.  I’m begging you, please.”  Lee has a change of heart, in reaction to Elena’s words, and puts out the match and throws Damon across the pavement.  Elena: “Thank you.”  Vamp: “It wasn’t for you.”  So what does everyone think about Elena saving Damon’s life?  Why is she begging for mercy for a vicious killer?  One who fairly recently tried to kill her best friend?  I think it was the heroic choice for her character, but I also think that she’s being way too easy on Damon during this entire road trip.  She should really have more anger towards him.

Meanwhile, Stefan returns with Bonnie to Grams’ house.  Grams: “Look who’s returned from battle.”  Bonnie and Grams hug.  Grams asks, “Can I talk to your friend for a moment?”  Bonnie nods, thanks Stefan, and leaves the room.  Grams: “I appreciate your help, Stefan.”  Stefan: “You’re welcome, Sheila.”  Finally!  A name for Jasmine Guy’s character other than Grams.  From now on, I will refer to her as Sheila.  Sheila replies, “I wasn’t sure you remembered.”  Stefan: “October 1969.”  Sheila: “I was barely a teenager.”  Stefan: “And you were leading what was probably the only anti-war sit-in within miles of Mystic Falls. You know when you spoke, people were mesmerized.  I know I was.”  I love that Grams Sheila was an anti-war protestor.  Also, that she had met Stefan before.  Dear show, anytime you want to provide more back story, it is fine with me.  Grams: “Until the cops showed up.  You took a big risk coming to see me earlier.  Letting me read you, realize who you were.  It could have gone in a completely different way.”  Stefan: “Well, your family has a very long history of keeping my secret.  I knew that I could trust you, if you believed that I was worthy of your trust.”  Sheila: “Please understand that our loyalty can only extend so far.  This town won’t be easy on any of us if they figure it out.  And I’ll protect my own before anyone else.”  Stefan: “I know that.”  Sheila: “As long as we’re clear.”  They say goodnight, and Stefan leaves.

Cut to the bar, where Bree takes shots and looks very upset.  Damon comes in: “We were just leaving.  I wanted to say goodbye.”  Bree tries not to look surprised to see Damon, and lies: “Good to see you again, Damon.”  Damon: “No kiss?”  Bree knows that he knows her part in all this, and tells him: “I’m full of vervain.  I put it in everything I drink.”  Damon: “And your telling me this why?”  Bree: “Lexi was my friend.  How could you?”  How awesome would it be to see Bree and Lexi share a scene?  I really wish that this episode could have included a flashback to them as friends.  Damon super-speeds close to her.  Bree tries to save herself: “The tomb can be opened.”  Damon: “You lie.”  Bree: “Emily’s grimoire, her spell book.  If you know how she closed the tomb, the reversal process will be in that book.  You can open that tomb.”  Damon: “And where is this book?  You have no idea.”  Bree: “No, I am telling you the truth.”  Damon: “And I believe you.  My dear sweet Bree, that’s why I feel sorry.”  Then he literally rips her heart out of her chest, and then nonchalantly exits the bar.  Oh, Damon, now you have really crossed the line.  You know, I would expect this kind of heartbreak from Joss Whedon, but now I am convinced that the entire world has conspired to make Whedon fans miserable.  Goodbye Bree, you will be missed.

Cut to the next morning, and Damon and Elena are in the car together.  Elena, clueless about Bree’s fate, asks: “So, why did you bring me?”  Damon: “Well, you’re not the worst company in the world, Elena.  You should give yourself more credit.”  Elena: “Seriously?”  Damon: “I don’t know.  You were there in the road, all damsel-in-distress-like.  And I knew it would piss off Stefan.  And you’re not the worst company in the world, Elena.”  Despite myself, I am getting pulled in by the Damon/ Elena chemistry.  Must resist.  BAD Damon.  Elena: “I used to be more fun.”  Damon: “You did ok.”    Elena points out: “I saved your life.”  Damon: “I know.”  Elena: “And don’t you forget it.”  Again, I am surprised by how positive Elena is behaving towards Damon.  Saving him may have been the right thing to do, but she really should not let him totally off the hook.  He killed Lexi!  He killed and turned Vicki!  And so much more!

Cut to later that day, and Elena enters Stefan room.  They say their awkward hellos.  Elena: “You could have told me.”  Stefan: “I wanted to tell you.”  Oh, really?  Elena: “You said no more lies, only the truth.  I can handle the truth, Stefan.  As crazy as it is, I can handle the fact that you are a vampire, and you have a vampire brother, and that my best friend is a witch.  I can accept the fact that the world is a much more mysterious place that I ever thought possible.  But this, this lie, I cannot take.  What am I to you?  Who am I to you?”  All excellent points.   Stefan: “You are not Katherine.  You are the opposite of everything that she was.”  Elena: “And when did you figure that out?  Before you kissed me?  Before we slept together?”  Stefan: “Before I met you.”  Intriguing.  Elena: “What?”  Stefan: “The first day of school, when we met, it wasn’t the first time, Elena.”  Elena: “Then when was it?”  Stefan: “May 23rd, 2009.”  Elena: “But that was …”   Stefan: “That was the day your parents’ car went off the bridge.”  *Gasp*  Elena: “You were there?”  Stefan: “Every couple of years I come back here to see Zach and to see my home.  And last spring, I was out in the woods by Old Wickory Bridge (sp?), and I heard the accident.  I was fast getting there, but not fast enough.  The car was already submerged.  Your dad, he was still conscious.  I was able to get to him, but he wouldn’t let me help him, until I helped you.”  Wow, that is a lot of new information at once. Elena begins to cry, and I don’t blame her: “Oh my God.  When I woke up in the hospital, no one could figure out how I got out of the car.  They said it was a miracle.”  Stefan: “I went back for them, but it was too late.  I couldn’t save them.  When I pulled you out, I looked at your face and you looked like Katherine.  I couldn’t believe the resemblance.  After that, I spent months making sure that you weren’t her.   I watched you.  I learned everything that I could about you. And I saw that you were nothing like Katherine.  And I wanted to leave town, but Elena, I couldn’t leave without knowing you. I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you.  I wanted to, but you were so sad, and ….”  Elena: “Why do I look like her?”  I’m surprised that Elena is still so interested in that question, after this latest reveal.  Stefan: “Elena, you’ve been through so much.”  Elena is determined to know the truth: “Why do I look like her, Stefan?  What are you not telling me?” Stefan: “It didn’t make any sense to me.  You were a Gilbert, and she was a Pierce. But the resemblance was too similar.  And then I learned the truth.  You were adopted Elena.”  While this is more plot-twisty, I had always just assumed that a member of Katherine’s family had intermarried with a Gilbert, and that was fine by me.  But I guess they really want to go for the dramatic on this show.  I just hope that Elena doesn’t get to angsty over learning that she was adopted.

Cut to Jeremy at the library.  Anna approaches and hands him some documents: “OK, look, I know I don’t know you, so don’t ask me why I do this.  It’s just sometimes, well mostly all the time, I have this need to be right.  So I googled, and … “  Jeremy: “What is it?”  Anna: “Proof. Sort of.”  He looks at the papers, and asks what they mean.  Anna: “Well, I only went as far back as 1942, and found that there’s been a string of animal attacks periodically in and around this town for the past 75 years. It’s consistent.  Look.  In 62, five bodies found.  In 53, four people killed.  In 74, three people dead.  And there’s been five this year.  All attacked, and all suffered major blood loss.  As in drained of blood.”  Dun dun dun.  That Anna sure is good at finding things out.  I hope that doesn’t lead to her death.  Honestly, I am now terrified for the lives of every new character.  While some might consider this good writing, I would prefer something more complex than “Anyone could die!”  In particular, I would prefer a more compelling storyline than “All awesome chicks will be killed by Damon.”

Cut back to Elena and Stefan, and their intense conversation.  Elena: “How do you know this?”  Stefan: “Your birth certificate from the city records, it says Elena Gilbert, Mystic Falls General.  But there’s no record of your mother ever being admitted.  There’s no record of her ever being pregnant.”  Hmmm.  Elena: “What else do you know?”  Stefan: “For me to go any further, I would have had to look into the Pierce family, and I couldn’t do that.  It’s too much of a risk.  If someone found out that I was asking about Katherine …”  So, why would it be such a risk?  Stefan didn’t even know about the anti-vamp town council back then.  Who was he afraid of finding out?  He continues: “Look at me.  It doesn’t matter.  You are the woman that I love.  I love you.”  They kiss, and embrace, and Elena cries.  Well, nothing like finding out that your boyfriend saved your life, and that you’re adopted, to bring an estranged couple back together.

Elena returns home to a very upset Aunt Jenna.  Aunt Jenna: “I don’t set a lot of rules Elena, not with you.  I trust you to tell me the truth.  Where were you?  And why did you lie to me about it?  I thought that we were closer than that.”  Elena: “Now is not the time you want to talk to me about lies.”  Jenna: “Don’t do that.  Don’t turn this back on me.  I didn’t do anything.”  Elena snarks: “OK, question: Am I adopted?  I trust you to tell me the truth too, Jenna.  How could you not tell me?  I thought we were closer than that.”  Jenna: “Elena, I didn’t.  They asked me not to.”  Elena stomps up the stairs: “I don’t want to hear it.”  Yep, I think we have some angsty-broody Elena in our future.  Sigh.

Cut to the final scene.  Alaric is at the bar, and Damon comes in.  Alaric has a flash back to Damon killing his wife!  While I was not surprised that Damon killed his wife, the fact that Alaric knows the identity of his wife’s killer was a BIG surprise. In the present, his hand shakes (like the guys in old westerns, when they’re drawing their guns) and dramatic music plays.  Dun dun dun.  Cue the title card.  The end.

So, what did you think of the episode?  Do you agree with my assessments?  Or think that I’m taking the show too seriously?  Please comment below.

P.S. I would like to dedicate this recap to DayQuil, for making it possible.  Being sick is really not conducive to timely blogging.

Related posts:

• The Televixen’s TVD Podcast – Let’s Kill All the Awesome Chicks
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: Preview for “Bloodlines” & Fan Reaction Video
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES Season Finale: “Founder’s Day”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Isobel”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Blood Brothers”