THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “162 Candles”

Photo Credit: Guy D'Alema/The CW.

Read on for my recap & review of The Vampire Diaries episode 1×08, “162 Candles,” aired November 5th, 2009:

Well, karma has caught up with me.  Last week I made light of Vicki’s death, and joked that all the characters I don’t like die, so this week I was punished.  Poor Lexi.  From the promos, I was ready to dislike the blond vampire (played by Dean’s wife Lindsay from Gilmore Girls, Arielle Kebbel, whom I could barely recognize).  However, she proved me wrong, and was surprisingly fun and charming.  The promos were extremely misleading—she was not giving Elena a hard time, but rather, Damon.  But just as my new favorite vampire got cooler and cooler, Damon staked Lexi through her cold undead heart.  Goodbye Lexi.  I’ll miss you.  All in all, this was another thoroughly entertaining episode, with great moments for all the characters involved—even my often-neglected favorites, Matt and Bonnie (hurrah for screen time!).  Thank you, show, for continuing to be surprisingly awesome.

The episode opened on Stefan at Casa Salvatore.  He senses something, or someone.  Oh, who will it be?  Suddenly he’s jumped, and he recognizes the blond vampire woman as Lexi.  Stefan asks what she’s doing there, and she replies, “How could you even ask that?  Happy Birthday.”  Yes, the episode title “162 Candles” does refer to Stefan’s birthday, but it’s not as cheesy as you might think.

Cut to the two old friends catching up.  Lexi wisely tells Stefan that if someone shot at her with wooden bullets, she’d be out of there.  Sound advice.  She  asks why he’s staying, and she figures out that Elena is the reason.  She tries to convince her brooding companion to go to New York, and celebrate at a Bon Jovi concert—turns out the vamps have a history with Bon Jovi, as they spent “a very crazy weekend” with the rock star.  Lexi hopes his new girl is better than Katherine.  Ha!  It is also revealed through exposition that Stefan and Damon are “the only ones with the nifty little daylight rings.”  Um, really?  Weak.  Aren’t they just made of Lapis Lazuli?  Anyway, Lexi wants to do something fun for Stefan’s birthday, but he’s being resistant.

Later, the Sheriff questions the teens about Vicki, as there are no parental units to question, I guess.  She asks where Vicki said she was going, and we cut quickly between the different answers and questions.  Matt brings up Stefan as someone who might know—good one, Matty.  Elena lies.  Stefan says he was trying to help her.  Right.  Also, get used to that line.  Not only did we hear that excuse multiple times last episode, but he will continue to beat that dead horse throughout this episode.  Matt says that she seemed like she was coming down from something, i.e. drugs.  Jeremy recites what Damon glamoured him to think: “I’ll miss her, but I think it’s for the best.”  Creepy.  I’m still upset that Elena arranged for Jeremy to have his memory wiped, but more on that later.  When they leave the station, Stefan has the gall to tell Matt that he was just trying to help her (again), that’s all.  Whatever.  I would have expected for him to feel a little more guilt, and to be a little less self-righteous and defensive.  Elena talks to Stefan alone—she really can’t stay away from him in this episode, despite her protestations last week and the week before.  She whines more about this being too much, but continues not to do anything to help (I’ll expand on that complaint later).  She repeats the questions asked and answered earlier, and exposits that Jeremy has no memory.  Yeah, I think I remember that.  She whines some more.  Yes, this is all about you, Elena.  Sigh.  Stefan wants to go somewhere to talk, but she tells him to stay away.

Back at Casa Salvatore, Lexi wakes up to Damon in her face.  He tells her that this is an unexpected surprise, but she calls him on his nonsense: “Unexpected surprise?  I think the wrong brother went back to high school.”  Hehe.  I think that may be my favorite line of the episode, but I reserve the right to change my mind.  She says that she’s only there for Stefan’s birthday, and he feigns disappointment that she’s not there to see him.  She mocks him in turn, and he complains: “Oh, why are you are so mean to me?”  Lexi: “Um, have you met you?  You’re not a nice person.”  Damon: “Because I’m a vampire.”  Lexi: “Yeah, but only the bad parts.”  Damon: “Teach me to be good.”  She puts a choke hold on him, and we see the scene shown in the woefully misleading promos.  She reminds him, “I’m older, and that means stronger,” and Damon actually apologizes.  Lexi: “Don’t ruin my time with Stefan.”

Meanwhile, Bonnie is getting ready to leave her Gram’s house.  Bonnie says that her dad doesn’t like her to stay there too long.  They joke about him, and how he doesn’t like witchcraft, and he’s always right.  Grams tells her to wear the necklace, but Bonnie says that it’s not her’s, it’s Caroline’s.  Grams corrects her, and says that the crystal found her: “A witch’s talisman is a powerful tool.  Don’t give it back to anyone.”  Bonnie wishes that it was prettier.  Ha!

At the Gilbert house, Elena and Aunt Jenna talk about their wallowing.  Jeremy is working on homework, and asks them to keep it down.  They are shocked by his pod person behavior:“What do you think, alien?”  “Some sort of replicate?”  They make fun of his new studious tendencies, which is not in very good taste on Elena’s part, as it’s totally her fault.  Did Damon do more than make him forget?  How much more?  Or is this just the result of messing with someone’s mind—you never know what the results will be?  Hmmm.  Also, Elena sucks for arranging this to happen to her brother.

Elsewhere, Damon goes to see the Sheriff, and brings her vervain.  He knows the secret to the Sheriff’s trust.  The Sheriff rewards him with some information: “It’s a small circle—founding families, a few city officials.”  Damon wonders if the search is getting any closer, and the Sheriff says: “I think our facts our wrong.  We’ve always believed that vampires could only come out in the dark.  What if that’s changed?”  He expresses disbelief, and asks what the next step is.  She explains that they’re looking at everyone new in town, which of course raises warning bells for Damon.  He assures her, “And I of course will do anything I can to help.”  Uh oh.

Bonnie goes to see Elena.  I’m so glad that these two are getting some face time in this episode—friends are important.  Elena is feeling sorry for herself, so Bonnie climes into bed with her to talk.  As Elena expands on why she is feeling to awful, Bonnie interjects: “Can I get a one line version, so I can at least pretend to be helpful?”  Ha!  Love Bonnie.  Elena says that she and Stefan broke up.  Bonnie says she’s sorry, and apologizes for being MIA, and says that she kind of sucks.  I disagree, as Elena has been a worst friend to her.  I’m still mad that Elena has not informed her friends about the threat they are facing—as I learned at the tender age of 6, “knowing is half the battle.”  Poor Bonnie, and especially Caroline, are left ignorant and helpless, unknowing as to the precautions they should be taking.  But back to the recap: Elena lets Bonnie blame herself, and asks her to get her mind off her troubles.  Bonnie comes through in a big way, by showing Elena a great little bit of magic.  She cuts open a down pillow, and swears Elena to secrecy.  Then, Elena watches as Bonnie makes a feather float.  Elena asks what’s going on, and Bonnie lifts even more feathers.  The effect was done very well, and this scene was quite … well, magical.  The feathers float around the room, as Bonnie explains: “It’s true Elena.  Everything my Grams told me.  It’s impossible, and it’s true.”  Elena almost redeems herself here by being happy for her friend, and telling her, “I believe you.”

Meanwhile Caroline, still woefully ignorant, and without any vervain to protect her (for shame, Elena and Stefan!!!),  runs into Damon.  Her greeting is priceless: “Look dungeon boy.  I’m done being your little slave girl.  You seriously hurt me, and I will be damned if …”  Unfortunately, Damon uses his glamouring power to convince her to throw a party and get the crystal back from Bonnie.  This could have been prevented people!  Hasn’t poor Caroline been victimized by Damon enough?!?  I’ve had it with that—someone better fill the girl in, and get her a vervain locket of her own.  A couple weeks ago, Elena was outraged by Damon’s treatment of Caroline, but I guess not enough to actually do something about it.  Sigh.

Back at Casa Salvatore, Lexi tells Stefan that Elena will come around (which she will, quite literally, in about 10 minutes or so).  Lexi wonders if they’ve had sex yet, but Stefan says no.  Lexi: “Sex always works.  I mean, you’ll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex, that she’ll be yours forever.”  OK, I cringed at that line.  Not the best example of this show’s writing.  This is the kind of evidence that could be used against me for watching this show.  Anyway, Stefan doesn’t want to use any tricks on Elena.  Lexi adorably pokes a straw into her blood bag juice box, and Stefan is a bit uncomfortable with the human blood drinking.  They have a conversation about their blood habits, and Lexi says that she only could handle the animal diet for three weeks.  She assures her friend that no harm was involved in procuring the blood, and Stefan lies that he doesn’t judge her.  He says that he can’t drink human blood, because he might get addicted—makes sense.  Damon comes in and tells them about Caroline’s party.  Stefan doesn’t want to go, but Damon advises: “It’s important for the town to see us out and about.  We need to blend in.”  That is a good point.  Lexi wants to go, so Damon is already assured victory.  Knowing how this will turn out, I’m sad.

Meanwhile, Elena wonders why Bonnie told her about her secret.  Bonnie tells her that she’s her best friend, so she can’t keep secrets from her.  Hint, hint.  I hope Elena feels nice and guilty now.

Cut back to Lexi and Stefan.  Lexi is fresh from the shower, in a towel, and getting it ready for the night out.  Stefan can’t believe she wants to go, and he wonders what Damon is up to.  His suspicions will later be proved correct, so I can’t blame him.  Lexi foolishly wonders what harm could happen, in a public place.  Stefan assures her, “He knows how to keep a low profile, believe me.”  That he does, Stefan.  That he does.  Lexi will suffer no argument: “It’s my day… So, quit your whining, and go get ready.”  There is also some mention of their past celebrations, which involved jumping in the Trevi Fountain, blah blah blah.

Meanwhile, Elena has made her way to Casa Salvatore, and I wonder why in the world she is there.  That morning, she was telling Stefan that she couldn’t be around him, then twenty minutes ago she was telling Bonnie that they broke up.  Yet, here she is.  Sigh.  She meets Lexi, who is still clad only in a towel.  Awkward.  Lexi is shocked to see her, as she looks just like Katherine, but Elena introduces herself.  Lexi tries to play it cool, but she is still weirded out, and Elena is jealous.  Lexi asks her if she’d like to wait for Stefan to get out of the shower, but Elena gets pouty and leaves.

Cut to Lexi yelling at Stefan: “Are you out of your freaking mind?”  Stefan:“What are you talking about?”  “I just met Elena,” she says, while holding up the photo of Katherine.  Yeah, finally someone is calling Stefan on this craziness!  “You have some serious explaining to do.”  She continues: “You have some serious emotional damage.”  Stefan: “No, it’s not what you think.  She’s not Katherine.”  Lexi: “Then they’re related, because they could be twins.”  Stefan says that he doesn’t know if they’re related, and he didn’t try to find out: “I have no desire to tie Elena to Katherine.”  Lexi looks at him disbelieving.  Stefan admits: “OK, yes, yes. The resemblance is what drew me in, but that’s it.  Katherine and Elena may look the same on the outside, but on the inside they are completely different.”  Lexi: “Oh, so Elena’s not a raging bitch then?”  OK, that’s my other favorite line of the episode, as I have a special love for Katherine.  I hope we see more of Katherine soon.  Stefan says no, and that “Elena’s warm, and she’s kind, and she’s caring, and she’s selfless.”  Sure.  He continues: “And it’s real.  And honestly, when I’m around her I completely forget what I am.”  Lexi: “Oh my God, you’re in love with her.” Stefan admits that it’s true.

Cut to Caroline at her party.  She goes up to Damon, who asks if she has the crystal.  When she says no, he is a little brat, and stomps off.  Lexi arrives, and says that Stefan will meet her there.  She also blows off Damon, which makes me love her even more.

Stefan, it turns out, went to see Elena on the way to the party.  He clears things up about Lexi, explaining that she’s a vampire, she’s 350 years old, she’s his oldest friend, and there was nothing romantic between them ever.  Elena is relieved.  Like, so relieved.  Elena points out that Lexi was weirdly staring at her, and Stefan LIES.  I’m  so over this—just tell her that she’s Katherine’s doppelganger already.  Elena says that it was a mistake to stop by, and she whine some more.  He tells her that he’s there for her, and asks her if she wants a ride to the Grill.  He also tells her that it’s his birthday, and smiles rather adorably.  I’m so easy to please.  Sigh.  Elena says that she’s going to stay in for the night (translation: arrive at the party later).

Back at said party, Caroline tries to get the crystal back.  Bonnie points out that Caroline said that she hated it, and refuses to give it back.  Caroline tries to convince her that it makes her look fat.  Hehe.  Caroline grabs at it, but it shocks her—just like it did to Damon last week.  Caroline’s reaction to this?  “Are you wearing polyester?”  OK, now that is the best line from the episode.  Hehe.  Bonnie can’t believe Caroline was going to pull it from her neck, and asks what was wrong with her.  Maybe if her friends would check in with her, they would know that her stalker ex-boyfriend is controlling her, but they didn’t, so they don’t.  Sigh.

Stefan talks to Matt, and says AGAIN: “I was just trying to help Vicki.  I went through something similar once.”  Oh yeah?  Someone staked your sister?  And then covered up all memory of it, so that you could just keep on worrying?  Shut up.  Matt says that Vicki is just like his mom, he can’t count on either.  So sad.  Matt even says, “Thanks for trying.”  Oh, Matt, you remain the classiest act on this show.  I wish vampires hadn’t killed your sister, even though I didn’t like her.

Elsewhere at the party, Damon confronts Caroline again, asking about the necklace.  She fills him in on her failed attempt with Bonnie, and explains that the crystal shocked her.  Damon: “Dammit, why does it do that?  I need that crystal.”  She asks why he’s acting this way, as she’s so good to him, and he responds by calling her “stupid, shallow, and useless.”  Ass.  Hate him right now.  It took me a while to warm up to Caroline, but I am really starting to love her, so this is just unacceptable.

Meanwhile, Lexi and Stefan dance, blissfully ignorant of Damon’s machinations.

The we see Damon leave the Grill, and he overhears a couple running off to a secluded corner in the night.  A bad idea in Mystic Falls, boys and girls.  The girl wonders if she hears something, and she was right.  Damon bites the guy, and glamours the girl (to wrongly identify her boyfriend’s attacker, as we learn later).

Elena decides to come to the party after all.  Damon approaches: “Stefan smiles.  Alert the media.”  Hehe.  Elena: “You haven’t given him many reasons to be happy lately.”  Damon: “Oh, you’re right.  Poor Stefan.  Persecuted throughout eternity by his depraved brother.  Does it get tiring, being so righteous?”  Hehe.  Yes, Damon is doing despicable things throughout this episode, but he just cracks me up.  Elena: “It flares up in the presence of psychopaths.”  Elena also takes this opportunity to ask Damon what he did you do to her brother.  He says that he did like she asked, but she questions him further and he says he took away his suffering.  That’s a pretty big thing.  Once again, I must stress that I think Elena made the wrong choice.  Our suffering is what makes us human, and makes us who we are.  No wonder Jeremy is acting like a zombie.

Cut to Bonnie and Caroline.  Bonnie tries to explain herself, but Caroline cuts her off: “What is there to explain, Bonnie?  You got what you wanted, and something that doesn’t even belong to you, by the way.  And I get called a shallow useless waste of space.”  Bonnie knows it was Damon, and tells her not to let him treat her like that.  Caroline points out that her friend doesn’t treat her much better.  Sad.

Meanwhile, the Sheriff and her deputies find the girl in the alley alive, and the boy dead in a pool of blood.

Lexi glamours the bar tender to get past an ID request, and free shots.  It seems harmless, but it’s a slippery slope when it comes to messing with people’s minds, so I’m not thrilled.  She runs into Elena: “Ah, the famous Elena.”  Elena replies: “Towel girl.”  Lexi: “I’ve been called worse.” Hee.  Elena didn’t know that vamps could drink, but Lexi says that it helps curb the cravings.  Elena points out that Stefan doesn’t drink, but they both agree that he is uptight.  I agree too.  Lexi actually takes it upon herself to assure Elena about her relationship with Stefan, and is pretty insightful.  She explains: “The love of my life was human.  He went through what I imagine you’re going through—denial, anger, etc.  But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.”  Lexi downs Elena’s shot, because Elena is uptight like Stefan.  Not that I’m advocating teenage drinking.  Uh oh.  Elena: “I’m scared.”  Lexi: “But you’re here.  Because you’re crazy about him.  I get it.  C’mon, what’s not to love?  [Both girls look at Stefan]  Take it from someone who’s been around a long time—when it’s real, you can’t walk away.”  Elena says that it was nice meeting her, and really means it.  See, Lexi is cool.

Lexi goes over to Stefan and we learned that he was vamp-eavesdropping.  That is a very creepy habit of his.  Show some restraint, Stefan.  Stefan thanks her, and she replies, “I was feeling epic, whatever.”  Very sweet.

Meanwhile, the Sheriff asks the girl if she saw what did this.  And the girl nods.  Uh oh.

Elena goes over to Stefan, and he notices that she came.  How very astute.  Elena explains, “I couldn’t miss your hundredth and whatever birthday.”  He smiles, and is pretty happy.  Ah young love … except one of them is 162 years old.  Ah, creepy inappropriately aged love?  No, it just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Elsewhere at the party, Caroline is wasted, and she stumbles onto Matt’s lap.  Possibly not an accident, if she’s a smart girl.  Matt asks one of his friends to get her coffee.  Aaww.  Matt: “Bad night, huh?”  Caroline: “Baddest.  Am I shallow?”  Matt: “Is that a trick question?”  Hehe.  Caroline: “I don’t mean to be.  Yeah, I want to be deep.  I want to be like the abyss deep.”  I must say, Candice Accola was breaking my heart in these scenes.  Caroline is really starting to become one of my favorite characters.  Matt: “No offense, Caroline, but deep’s really not your scene.”  Caroline admits: “That’s true.  I’m shallow.  I’m worse than shallow.  I’m a kiddie pool.”  Matt tells her she’s not, and is very sweet.  She wants to go home and he offers to take her.  He picks her up, like the adorable gentleman he is.  Normally I’m not one for chivalrous macho gestures, but c’mon, this is just so kind and sweet.  On their way out, Carolin’s mommy-Sheriff sees her, and asks if she’s drunk.  She is shocked that they were serving her in there, as she is in high school.  I am too, because this is a small town, and everyone’s got to know that Caroline is the Sheriff’s daughter.  Dumb move, bartender.  Matt tells Sheriff Mama that he’ll take Caroline home, as he hasn’t been drinking.  Of course he hasn’t.  Sigh of love.

Back at the party, Lexi asks Damon what he’s really doing in Mystic Falls.  Damon: “OK, I have a diabolical master plan.”  Lexi: “What is it?”  Damon: “Well, if I told you, it wouldn’t be very diabolical would it.”  At that moment, the Sheriff and the witness come in, and the girl points over in the direction of Damon and Lexi.  The Sheriff loses no time in injecting Lexi with vervain, and her deputies drag the wrongly accused vampire out.  Damon pretends to be surprised.

Outside, Lexi comes too, and throws off the men holding her.  The Sheriff shoots her, but Lexi is still going.  And then, suddenly, Damon stakes her.  As she’s dying (again), she asks why.  He says that it’s part of the plan.  Oh, Lexi, you were taken from this show too soon!  Interesting mythology note: she’s a really old vamp, but she still just looks a little bit corpse-ish, like Vicki did.  Thoughts or theories on that?

Next, the Sheriff arrests the bartender—that’s what he gets for being an idiot.  She tells Damon that he was handy with the stake.  He tells her that she caught a very lucky break with that witness.  Why would he say that?  Why would he want to call attention to that?  Or his knowledge of the witness?  Hmmm.

Meanwhile, Matt puts Caroline down in her bed, and even takes off her boots.  Caroline asks, “Do you ever feel like there’s not a person in the world who loves you?”  Matt: “Life can be a little rough.”  Caroline: “I wish that life was a different.”  Matt: “Yeah me too.”  I’m getting a little teary reading those words, but I didn’t when watching the episode.  Those two broken kids … sigh.  He gets up to go, but she doesn’t want him to leave her alone.  He climbs into bed and holds her.  Aaaww.  Honestly, I’m not sure if I can handle it if Matt gets any more perfect and adorable.  Love him.

Outside The Grill, Stefan says that he has to kill Damon, but Elena tries to convince him not to.  Elena says that she’s not trying to save Damon, but to save Stefan, because of what it would do to him.  She asks him to talk to her, but he tells her no—she was right to stay away from him.

Stefan finds Damon at Casa Salvatore and beats him up a little.  Damon fights back, but Stefan is far angrier, so he keeps the upper hand.  Damon tries to use insane troll logic: “C’mon, I did this for you, to get them off our trail.”  Stefan stakes Damon, but he misses the heart—on purpose.  Stefan explains: “No, you saved my life, I’m sparing yours.  We’re even.  And now we’re done.”    He pushes the stake further in during this speech a few times, for emphasis.

Cut to Bonnie tossing and turning in bed.  She has a dream in which she’s running in the woods.  She sees her ancestor Emily (played by Bianca Lawson, most familiar to me as Kendra, the vampire slayer with the annoying accent), who tells her “It’s coming.”  Cryptic much?  Bonnie wakes up in the woods.  So it wasn’t a dream?  I’m confused.  And Bonnie better not be in danger.

So, what did you think about the episode?  Am I too harsh on Elena and Stefan?  Did you like Lexi as much as me?  Or were you glad when she was killed off?  Is Matt your new TV boyfriend?  Comment below.

Related posts:

• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES Season Finale: “Founder’s Day”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Isobel”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Blood Brothers”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Miss Mystic Falls”
• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES: “Under Control”