Chuck Norris Facts
2009 June 17
In honor of my 24 hour vacation, and in continuation with my previous post about Felicia Day Rumors, here are a couple links to some "Chuck Norris Facts." For the uninitiated, Chuck Norris was a TV action star, of Walker, Texas Ranger fame, etc. It used to be on t.v. all the time during my childhood. He’s famous for a special roundhouse kick he used to do, and beating guys up unrealistically in every episode. The "Chuck Norris Facts" became a pop culture phenomenon in the 90s, or early 2000s (Wikipedia says it started in 2005, but I don’t really believe that–weren’t they already around in the mid 90s?!?). Anyways, they’re inane and hilarious. Here are my faves:
- Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris is the reason that Waldo is hiding.
- When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- Chuck Norris does not read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity … twice.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
- Chuck Norris can eat only one Lay’s potato chip.
- Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
- Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
- Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
- Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Chuck Norris Facts
http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/
