How will Caesar and Ilana die?
2009 March 1
Here are my theories on how the newest red-shirts on the Lost island will bite it:
- They will be bitten by paralyzing spiders, and then buried alive.
- They will be hit with flaming arrows.
- The smoke monster will get them.
- They will drown while out for a swim.
- The Others will come to the camp at night and kill them, à la Scott, I mean Steve. Wait which one died?
- A mysterious group of scary military types will set up camp on a freighter off island. They will then ambush Caesar and Ilana in Othersville and shoot them to hell.
- They will find a mysterious yellow plane, and Locke will convince them to check it out. While listening to the radio broadcast inside, the plane will fall off the face of the mountain, and they will bleed to death painfully.
- Another crash victim will unwittingly shoot them, provoked by the whispers.
- Kate will blow them up inside a house.
- A treacherous member of their group will shoot them when trying to rescue Ben.
- Locke will kill them because they are set on leaving the island.
- Ben will convince them not to kill themselves, only to then strangle them.
- Ben will fall in love with Ilana, and thus decide that Caesar must die. She’s HIS, ALL HIS!
- They will be sacrifices that the island demanded.
- They will get “the sickness,” so Danielle will have to shoot them.
- They will drown heroically, after saving Claire, and the entire island.
- They will get the time-travel nose-bleed sickness and die tragically.
Upon further reflection, it seems that all the possible deaths on the island have already been explored. To my mind there are only a few options left:
- The shark will eat them.
- A piano will fall on them from the sky.
- An anvil will drop on them.
- Elmer Fudd will shoot them. “I shot the rabbit!”
- They will join Jacob’s zombie horde, à la Claire.
Yep, that’s pretty much it. My favorite is the last one. Hehe. Farewell Caesar and Ilana, we barely knew you.
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